Areille - the Lioness of God

Who is doing the dishes?

2010-07-20T13:24:00.000-07:00

I always knew using the dishwasher was a waste of water and electricity, but the ease of it (or so we thought) made us frequent users. Recently, I have been cooking a lot, like nearly 5-6 times in a week. Which meant, nearly every single day the dishwasher would run. I would have prep dishes, dishes I cooked with, dishes we ate on, dishes from any leftovers in the fridge & the dishes we took to work for lunch. This was a daily load. And then, came the awakening. My mom visited, and for 11 whole days we didn't use the dish washer even once. She washed dishes as she cooked which compelled us to wash our own plates and cups. Observing her I realized, it shouldn't be that hard to do .. and we should really be saving all that water and electricity. I took the oath, will try and not use dishwasher for everyday stuff. Only probably when we have company over. What I have learnt is that I have become a lot more efficient with my dish usage while cooking. I don't unnecessarily take out a lot of prep dishes cause I know I will have to hand wash them all. Also, I clean as I cook. As the onions sautee, I will rinse the bowl in which I kept the chopped onions. By the time my dal was simmering with the spices, I would have finished washing the pressure cooker in which I had cooked that dal. And when I am done topping that sabji with coriander leaves, the cutting board and knife is immediately rinsed. I am absolutely loving how efficient I have become. I have 2 plates out in the drying rack and we now use the same 2 plates for dinner everyday. Not only have I now saved electricity and precious water, but time too in putting dishes back and taking dishes out. I have read somewhere that on an average dishwashers use 40 liters of water per load .. Yikes! I am glad to have made this little change!

My 11 days of motherhood!

2010-07-16T12:45:00.000-07:00

My sister and Brother-in-law were brave enough to trust me and P to take care of their precious twin boys for 11 whole days, 9 of which they were out touring Switzerland and Italy. Of course my Mom being with us was a crucial part of it cause in this area I am (or should I say was) a total novice. :-)

First thing that comes to mind when I look back on this experience - Parenthood is TOUGH! It really made me appreciate all those parents, single moms, moms with one child, multiple children .. all of them & above all my own parents. This isn't an easy task! I thought my sister was prepping me too much, when she asked me 3 times a day for 3 whole weeks if I was "ready for them"!! Oh, how irritated I was. But seriously, I don't think she knew, how much ever she thought she prepped me, and how ready I thought I was, you just can never be ready till you are smack in the middle of it! This isn't something that can be taught or demonstrated, it's all about the 'experience'!

Ok, I think I am making this sound like I was very tortured. Lol! I really wasn't. In fact I LOVED every minute of it and missed them terribly the second they left! And I guess that's the whole charm of babies and what they call the joys of motherhood. After all those sleepless nights, the tantrums and screams, the mess, one gorgeous smile your way, just makes your heart melt. Makes you forget everything and truly makes all your efforts feel worth it.

Here's an interesting thought that hit me as I observed them - They depend on us for everything, we are their source of food, hygeine, entertainment, sleep, everything, and yet, funnily, they own us!

Here are some of my Memorable moments with J n K

1. Morning smiles: They seem to be in the BEST of moods at 7AM! Wonder at what age that changes and why! But they actually motivated me to be up early .. which is an achievement.
2. Them swaying from side to side when we sing "I love you .. you love me" and head banging when we sing other peppy numbers! Makes me laugh just thinking of it.
3. Pool time: Kishnoo is such a water baby! Loved the splashing and just being in the water. Jaiyoo a bit more delicate would splash .. then get out of the water and then want to come back in. ADORABLE!
4. Head Bump time with Jaiyoo: It's tough to explain .. it's just so darn cute.
5. Kishnoo's aaahaaahaahaa: This one is also ridiculously tough to explain but here goes. Kishnoo loves plucking flowers and my mom has now trained him to not pluck them but say "aaahaahaahaa" indicating "oh they are so pretty". Its HILARIOUS to hear him say that! I would take him near my flower pots just to hear that.
6. Animals: I don't know how and when this came about .. but they are ecstatic when they see any animals. I showed them my cats, neighbors dogs, chickens, goats, peacocks what not .. and they just have this weird animal call voice which comes out. It's sooo amusing to see their excitement.
7. Eat: How they ask for everything you are eating. They just want to eat anything and everything you put in your mouth, even if they have *just* had a full fledged meal! Amazing.
8. Bath time: I gave them ALL their baths and I loved each of them. That's the time I felt like a true mom. There is something just so soothing and beautiful about bath time. Oh and the smell of baby products and their baby skin. Soft like butter!!
9. Talk - I LOVED it when they said Mamoma or Mumma or their fav. CAR!! They just sound SOOOO cute! It's a delight to hear their voices, one so different from the other, yet both so melodious!
10. Barneeeyyyy: Oh how we loved Barney and memorized each of Mother Goose's rhymes! Our few minutes of peace! Have to mention Barney!

All in all, i can't wait to see them next and I can definitely wait to have my own! :D

Five

2010-06-18T07:37:00.000-07:00

Exactly 5 years back, I made the decision to go vegan! I had given it several attempts before that but failed for my love of yoghurt and paneer and cheese was too much to overcome. But all of a sudden, 5 years back, it came to me, that it was time.

I do believe that this awakening comes to all ... whatever their goal is .. whatever motivates them. Sometimes no matter how much you attempt and try, you just aren't able to acheive. Doesn't mean you should stop trying and wait for the awakening .. for I believe it's the repeated attempts that brings the awakening.

5 years and a lot of debates later, I can say, I am really proud to be a vegan .. to have chosen this path. No, please don't think of me as being boastful or arrogant. I in no way feel superior to anyone out there. I just feel accomplished. I am sure others find several other outlets to do their good deeds. This was mine. I love animals, I have watched way too many factory farming videos, I have read way too much about dairy farming, I can't bear to support it, and thus became vegan. It's not easy, I've had my weak moments, but it's worth it and that's what keeps me going. And in the process i have realized that everyone needs this 'thing'. Everyone needs that one 'driving force', the one thing they are passionate about .. the one thing that they would do anything for. It helps you grow, it keeps you learning, and it teaches you to become a better person.

What's your thing?

Waste

2010-06-03T13:34:00.000-07:00

We recently bought a new place and I have been trying to measure how green my thumb is! :) I planted a few tomato plants, bell peppers, chilli peppers and lots of other flowering ones and herbs. I am loving it. It's become a morning routine for me .. wake up and go check on my plants. It's only been 2 months now .. so the excitement is still very new. That being said, a plant grows and changes everyday ... so I am hoping the excitement stays. Anyway, back to the point I was trying to make. About 2 months back .. somewhere late March, I had planted these cherry tomato plants. They flowered pretty soon after that and I could see some beautiful little green cherry tomatoes growing soon after. I was soo excited. I could have my own home grown cherry tomatoes very soon. They were green at first of course .. so I waited a week, 2 weeks, 3 weeks, the cherry tomatoes were still green!! A little bigger but completely green. After nearly 5 weeks .. somewhere in mid-May - I noticed one change color. Soon after in the 6th week, I had a bowl full of cherry tomatoes. They were red, plump, and extremely juicy and sweet. I swear I could pop them all into my mouth. Yum yum! But seriously ... SIX WEEKS?? It definitely got me thinking of the amount of food we waste. I always knew this .. but it wasn't this impacting. Growing my own has definitely been a growing experience for me too. I realize now that the plant works SO hard to produce that one fruit or vegetable. It works so hard to fill it with nutrition and flavor that we need and like. And it takes us 2 seconds to dump our food into the trash! SO sad. I am as big a culprit here as you are. I don't have as much regard to food as I would like to. I often let veggies rot in my fridge, often serve myself way too much on my plate and then end up leaving it, often .. way too often. But after this 'growing' experience, I think and hope I have become more mindful of 'waste'. Let's buy, take and use only that which we need and nothing in excess. There are many hungry mouths in this world and many hardworking plants. We owe it to both of them to not waste.

Six Months?

2010-05-21T12:21:00.000-07:00

It's been ages since I have blogged. I guess I couldn't fight the 'married' and 'busy' stereotype. It's not that I have been so busy .. it's just that when you get married, 5 million other things seems to always be a priority. It's not just your priorities you have to deal with .. you have this whole other person's schedule to accomodate. Definitely is an 'interesting' experience. And let's not forget, the whole new set of parents & relatives we have both got - which means, more phone time, more family visits and more weddings to attend. Good Excuse? :-)

In one week, we are going to be celebrating 6 months of being married. Wow! Six whole months!! Can't believe it. And yet in some weird way, I seem to have forgotten what life was before P. It's like he was always there.

So .. 6 months .. how did it go? and how do I feel? I guess when I said that it felt like he was always there, I indirectly stated how easy the whole process has been. How, for years, I wished and hoped for a man who would give me my space, who would love my family & my cats (however crazy they are) as much as I do, who would pamper me and yet not over do it, who I could travel the world with, someone who would just feel 'right'. I seriously have to pinch myself at times ... cause I can't believe I found him ... it's not that I was wishing for something out of the ordinary, but the search and the process was so often disheartening, that it almost felt impossible. I had many concerns with marriage, one of them being 'space'. I love my space, I think that comes with living for 10 years by yourself. It makes you grow, be independent, but can often also inculcate a brat in you! :D. Yes! I have my brattish moments, but he tolerates it and even enjoys it at times. What more could I have asked for ?

As you can see, all that priority BS and marriage busy blah blah excuses I gave earlier has played havoc with the way I collect my thoughts too .. this post has no real story to tell and is just my blabbing. But I felt the need to do this. Should help me get back on the track of regularly blogging.

Anyway, consider this my mini-word vommit of my feelings after nearly 6 months of marital bliss. I am thankful to you, O Lord. You have been kind.

Wedding vs. Sanity!

2009-10-27T14:04:00.000-07:00

Today, I have one month left for the wedding. No reason for not blogging .. but somehow I have become one of those .. too many thoughts .. but too busy to pen! Ugh!

Anyway .. here is a thought I have been having lately. I have heard about crazy whacko brides .. I have seen a few in person too .. and all I want is me not to be one of them. How does one remain calm & pleasant under such pressure? Do they have to call it THE most imp. day of your life? Frankly, I feel the days following the wedding day .. are all THE most important days ouf our lives .. but that's another blog altogether .. esp. since I will have authority to write about post-wedding behavior only after the 27th of nov. :) Back to the crazy brides .. I've been thinking about how not to freak out when my pallu doesn't match my toe ring (exaggerating of course) .. and when the makeup lady is late .. or doesn't finish up on time. When we miss the muhurat .. or someone spills something on me ... how does the Bride get trained to stay calm? How how how?

The path I have decided to choose is one my Dad advocates - Positive Visualization! I have seen it work several times ... and so .. from today .. it's only happy positive thoughts. Only the best will happen .. and people will always say the kindest things .. and everything will go as planned .. and I will stay calm and glowing through out .. and if something goes wrong .. so what .. no big deal. People including me will discuss about it for a day or two .. and then it will all be forgotten in the million other life events we have. No pressure .. no stress.

** Hope it works! :-) **

Granted

2009-07-23T13:55:00.000-07:00

The other day, I was driving home from work and got stuck in traffic. That’s usually the time I let my mind wander… ponder ... get into phillosphical debates with myself. As I drove, I decided to close my one eye and see how easy it is to drive. Driving was okay .. but perception did get messed up. Checking blindspots became close to impossible. As soon as traffic started zooming by, I got startled and opened my closed eye all panicked. You must be wondering .. what the hell was this girl thinking?? Well I have a reason. My dad lost his eye when he was just 3 or 4 years old. He was playing like any other kid and fell onto the pointy ledge that fenced his yard. With a bunch of uneducated elders around him, who didn’t realize the need for immediate medical attention, his one eye was lost forever. Every time I think of this .. I tear up! My poor dad … what he must have gone through! And yet, he was able to bring up a beautiful family, prosper, inspire so many people and live so well inspite of this handicap. A handicap I couldn’t last through for more than a minute. That’s his greatness .. but if it was me … would I have been able to do the same? I don't think so. Then why am I not thankful for having my set of eyes intact? It’s terrible how we take all of this for granted. We don’t spare 2 minutes to thank the Lord for securing our limbs, and not impairing any of our senses, without realizing, all of it can be taken away in just 2 minutes. Must stop taking things for granted. Must be more humble and look at the bigger picture. Life isn’t about wearing the most expensive clothes or getting the biggest diamonds or buying the biggest house … life is about being good, kind, helpful, humble, grateful and compassionate. God, please give us all the strength to cultivate kindness and compassion and not vanity and wastefulness. As a new year begins in my life .. I would like this to be my mantra. Have more thoughts on similar topics to be added on soon!

Life ...

2009-06-11T13:48:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I have mindlessly rambled. And today, that's going to change! I have been wanting to blog about this for a week now .. but couldn't get myself to start typing. Finally have.

Last Monday - I got into work, and heard a tragic news. One of my colleagues, who I worked with very closely in the past, passed away. He was only 36 and left behind a wife and twin children of the age of 5! It all happened in seconds. He was working in his yard, experienced shortness of breath, collapsed, ER came, couldn't help him and he was gone.

The news affected me quite a bit, maybe more than I thought it would. I had heard of deaths before .. why was this so shocking and shaking. As I pondered more about this, I realized I couldn't stop thinking about what his wife was going through. I mean just that morning, she could have had a fight with him, we all do! We say harsh things, and we think we'll resolve it in 2 hours. She might have thought the same, only to realize she will never get that chance. Another thought was - July 4th weekend. They might have had a vacation planned, just like I do. They might have spent hours and days discussing details of all the fun they'll have. All gone in seconds. These are just the immediate things. Her whole life and life's plans ... Gosh I tear up just thinking about it.

Life. When we have it, we don't value it. When it's at risk, we complain, "why me!". And when it's taken away, we are devastated.

Attachment can be such a cruel thing. And the more people in your life that you become dependent on ... the more 'fearsome' such things can be. All these thoughts make me want to read the Gita and learn about moksha, maya and detatchment. It's definitely a lingering thought recently. I should really put it to work!

Eat healthy & be happy y'all!

The Proposal!

2009-04-16T08:58:00.000-07:00

It was a fine Saturday morning - pretty windy and nice. P and I had signed up for a half marathon on some very enthusiastic day, and now it was just 2 weeks away. "We" had planned all week to try out a long run on Saturday morning. I wanted to run the yukky race course (very dry and un-scenic). P insisted on running the 'scenic' drive on the pretense that the hills will really help him build his strength and endurance. Me being me, argued a bit about it and then finally said ... Fine! Scenic Drive it is. At 7 in the morning, I wore the most grunge clothes I had and set out to run. He looked at me, desperately wanting to tell me to dress better. Lol!

Off we started on our run. He usually runs a lot faster than me ... so there I was .. about 5-10 mins behind him ... running by the beautiful lake, enjoying the breeze, enjoying Austin. I thought to myself - this day can't get any better! Little did I know! ;)

The route was a loop back route - run up a hilly neighborhood .. and then run back. I met him as I entered the hilly neighborhood and he was on his way back .. he was zooming and panting ... I wanted to turn back with him at that point .. but he encouraged me to complete the distance .. and so i did. On my way back, I noticed someone waving. It was P; he was injured and wanted to take a break. I was so dazed, just wanted to get done with my run. But decided to *not* be a b&^%$ and sit with him. We walked to a bench facing the lake. When I think of the whole scene now, I wonder how I didn't suspect, how I just sat on the bench not turning around, not suspecting a thing. But I really didn't. I was still very very dazed from my run and the morning hour. As I sat, he presented me with a bouquet of gorgeous white and red roses & Soy Chai (thanks Cha for this and more!). :) I was like .. what the?? And thats when I thought, aww, he is just being the sweetheart he always is .. surprising me with chai and what not ..! It *still* didn't strike me. Everything beyond this point is a blur!! He got down on his knees, opened the box with the bling, gave the most romantic speech ever (which I had to ask him to recite to me again later coz I didn't remember a thing!), and that's it ... I was "engaged to be married"!! The moment I had wondered about for years and years ... was finally here!

Wait that's not it .. there was more ... as I hugged and kissed him and jumped with joy - I had a secret visitor. I turned around and there was my dear friend, Cha, with the camera!! Thanks to her, a lot more ppl got to see how wonderful the moment was for me. I was surprised beyond belief. Fiance, Friends, Chai, Roses, Bling, townlake .... and just 45 mins back I was thinking if that day could have gotten any better!!!

The rest of my day involved a lot of pampering from the beau .. a trip to San Antonio .. a nice romantic Italian dinner followed by hookah and what not! :D

I am very very thankful for what I have got .. and I hope I will always be this thankful, cause God has been kind ... very kind! :)

The "Wait" is over!

2009-03-23T08:29:00.000-07:00

Hey all!! I am so so so flattered. Frankly, I have been eagerly waiting for some 'free' time to pen down all that's on my mind. I think I am beginning to understand what I have been told many many times - you can't find time, you have to make time.

So here I am ... making my time. Gosh! It feels good to write again! :)

And Yes .. I am engaged!! And the details of my proposal deserves a post of its own! So TBD on that. This post is going to be about the wait and the end of it!!

For years and years, I wondered - who my soul mate will be .. will I ever find him or would I just settle ... etc. etc. I have spent many hours complaining to my very patient girlfriends about how I just don't 'feel' it for the guy I am talking to ... our how I am hopeful in the beginning and then something just doesn't fall right. I really began to wonder - was it me? Am I being too picky? Am I asking for too much ... all I am really looking for is to "click". Does that even make sense? Besides my parents requirement of a "Hindu Indian boy", I really didn't have any specifications on height, color of the skin, language, salary etc etc. But I wasn't willing to compromise on that 'chemistry' 'the sparks' and the comfort that my sister often spoke about. For me, my sis and my brother in law are the closest couple of my age group who are SO much in sync with each other. Neither of them are perfect, but even in their flaws, they perfectly blend. Oh how much I wanted that, prayed for that, wished for that. My mom would often tell me - stop putting your bro in law as the approval limit - it's a tough one for anyone to match. It was a tough one .. I knew it .. but not an impossible one, I thought. Funnily I think my BIL had set himself as the bar even when he looked for guys for me. Cause even to him, no one was ever good enough for me! There would be those few guys who I would want to consider, but none would ever get his approval status. And here enters - Mr. P! Mr. P was found by my BIL's best friend - instant approval! With a lot of persistent effort from my BIL and his darling friend, Mr. A, "WE" met!

Readers, I have never been happier. I now know - there is such a thing called a soul mate, there is such a thing called chemistry and there is definitely such a thing called comfort. And when the guy is right, all this will require ZERO effort. I don't even know where the days, weeks, months have gone by! I have no clue. All I can feel is blessed and grateful and thankful. I am not saying, Mr. P is perfect, and I snagged the best single guy out there .. No .. none of that. But I can say, with 100% confidence, that he is the PERFECT guy out there for ME. We click, we blend, we love! Quoting my Dad - "Mr. P has joined our family like sugar in milk - making us all better and sweeter." How true!

Phew! My wait was definitely worth it. I can't advise every single girl and guy out there to wait though .. each of us have different requirements and have to approach things differently. But I do think, that if you keep wishing for something, God will give it to you. Which means 2 things - One, be careful what you wish for - it just might come true and Second - sometimes we don't have the ability to recognize that we are getting just what we wanted. So be sure to keep a special eye out for that!

Lot more posts coming up soon!

Why can't you say one thing ... anything ... to make me feel better?

2008-12-18T13:26:00.001-08:00

I have so many friends who are on the 'low' phase ... feeling the pain. I too have felt that pain for many months. The fear of being alone .. the pain of seeing people around you going ahead of you. People you grew up with, went to college with, phases ahead of you in life. You don't want to be left behind. I have only lived 28 years ... but from my little life's experience, I could say that was one of the worst kind of pain I'd felt. I am sure death of near one's and having a terminal disease is much worse. But this pain is different ... we knows its temporary, but we still fear and wonder if it really is temporary. And there is noone around us who can make us feel better.

Quoting something I heard on TV yday ... there are no shortcuts in life or in love. This pain must be felt ... the alternative is much worse. It's what makes us special, what makes us beautiful ... what makes us worthy. The pain of how we love! But that pain is accompanied by something else ... hope! With pain .. there is hope. And that is where you are ... somewhere between agony and optimism and prayer.

And as they say .. it is when we really experience the *low* can we appreciate and enjoy the *high*! Keep the faith on!

Click

2008-10-28T14:15:00.000-07:00

Anyone who knows me a little well, knows my obsession with photographs. I love capturing every occasion in my camera. Be it just a simple potluck dinner or a grand wedding. I obviously love photographs, taking them, being in them .. all of it. Of course being photogenic helps the cause quite a bit! ;-) hehe .. and modesty is my middle name! Anyyyyhooo, there are times when I can spend hours and hours looking through albums .. my old albums .. maybe a friends album on facebook .. any album .. i enjoy it! Love looking at the colors, the outfits, the emotions captured. At times I let my mind wander off ... maybe reminiscing the events surrounding it, the fights, the good times etc. There is so much a photograph can bring to you! I can't thank this advancement in technology enough! So, I say, keep clicking! :-)

whatever happens ...

2008-10-22T13:20:00.001-07:00

I did my usual lunch routine at home and I was out of Seinfeld episodes to watch. So I decided to watch that which I have been putting off for so long - God Tussi Great ho! From what I saw - horrible movie .. horrible acting .. horrible everything. And why am I blogging about it then?? Well, God aka Amitabh has one dialogue which made me think and thus blog about. So here goes. Sallu bhai is complaining about why God doesn't give everyone equal luxuries ... why are some people rich, others poor, why are some people blessed with beauty and others not .. etc. etc. And God says - Jo tumhe diya hai, woh tumhare liye acha hota hai ... tumhare liye sahi hota hai. Kind of on the lines of "whatever happens happens for the best" and "Be happy with what you get" and so on.

Anyway, this reminded me of how much I love these quotes .. i love how they make me feel. Many people might find the need to fight them but I feel an air of contentment when I hear them. It brings back memories of a small poster which my Dad had given me when I was in primary school which read - "Relax! Gods in Charge." Yeah! He is in charge .. and he is thinking about me ... about all of us ... and is providing us with exactly what we need. And the only thing he expects from us is to accept it and believe that it is for the best and not question his judgement. Actually he doesn't even expect that .. but I guess it's good practice for us .. and for our sanity!

So really --- Bring out that smile, cause whatever happens, *does* happen for the best.

I Got the Powerrrr!!!

2008-10-22T08:52:00.000-07:00

I didn't write this .. though I wish I did. It does portray a lot of what I believe if that holds any value. Pasting a neat forward my Dad sent me ... definitely worth a read!

* The First Secret: The power of Love.
Love begins with our thoughts. We become what we think. Loving
thoughts create loving experiences and loving relationships.
Affirmations can change our beliefs and thoughts about ourselves and
others. If we want to love someone, we need to consider their needs
and desires. Thinking about your ideal partner will help recognize him
or her when you meet.

* The Second Secret: The power of Respect.
You cannot love anyone or anything unless you first respect them. The
first person you need to respect is yourself. To begin to gain
self-respect ask yourself,
"What do I respect about myself? " To gain respect for others, even
those you may dislike, ask yourself, "What do I respect about them?"

* The Third Secret: The power of Giving.
If you want to receive love, all you have to do is give it! The more
love you give, the more you will receive. To love is to give of
yourself, freely and
unconditionally. Practice random acts of kindness. The secret formula
of a happy, lifelong relationship is to always focus on what you can
give instead of you can take.

* The Fourth Secret: The power of Friendship.
To find true love you must first find a true friend. To love someone
completely you must love them for who they are not what they look
like. Friendship is the
soil through which love's seeds grow. If you want to bring love into a
relationship, you must first bring friendship.

* The Fifth Secret: The power of Touch.
Touch is one of the most powerful expressions of love, breaking down
barriers and bonding relationships. Touch changes our physical and
emotional states and
makes us more receptive to love.

* The Sixth Secret: The power of Letting go.
If you love something, let it be free. Even in a loving relationship,
people need their space. If we want to learn to love, we must first
learn to forgive
and let go of past hurts and grievances. Love means letting go of our
fears, prejudices, egos and conditions.

* The Seventh Secret: The power of Communication.
To love someone is to communicate with them. Let the people you love
know; that you love and appreciate them. Never be afraid to say, "I
love you." Never let an opportunity pass to praise and acknowledge
someone. Always leave someone you love with a loving word ... it could
be the last time you see them.

* The Eighth Secret: The power of Commitment.
If you want to have love in abundance, you must be committed to it.
Commitment is the true test of love. If you want to have loving
relationships, you must be committed to loving relationships. When you
are committed to someone or something, quitting is never an option.
Commitment distinguishes a fragile
relationship from a strong, loving one.

* The Ninth Secret: The power of Passion.

Passion ignites love and keeps it alive. Lasting passion does not come
through physical attraction alone. It comes from deep commitment,
enthusiasm, interest and excitement. The essence of love and happiness
are the same, all we need to do is to live each day with passion.

* The Tenth Secret: The power of Trust.
You cannot love someone completely unless you trust them completely.
Act as if your relationship with the person you love will never end.
Trust is essential in
all loving relationships. Trust yourself, trust others and trust the
world. It is the foundation for LOVE.

Mah Famille!

2008-10-17T08:12:00.000-07:00

I have been very fortunate to have spent a lot of time with family in the recent years. Even though sometimes it seems like more than necessary (;)), mostly, it's just plain rejuvenating. Can't believe sometimes these were the same siblings and parents that I grew up with, lived in the same house with for years, shared rooms and meals with. And some other times, it's tough to believe that I haven't known the newly 'added' siblings for all my life. From time to time it does strike me, that we take a lot for granted ... these precious moments with each other, their existence, their presence, their love. There are so many who aren't as lucky as me, but its so easy to forget that when we engulf ourselves with petty issues .. like I wanted Chinese food, but we had to eat Italian coz sis wanted to! It's really amazing how ridiculous the fights can sometimes be ... almost like .. we have really nothing to fight about but still want to fight.

I hope I constantly remember to take the time out and the steps back .. to be thankful for all that I have and to treasure it always. Missing my family ... always!

The Dying Pursuit!

2008-09-26T08:00:00.000-07:00

A good friend got me hooked on to listening to "Your time with Kim" which happens at 94.7 on weeknights. It's a girly talk show and I love it.

Anyway, so the other day, she said something interesting that I had to blog about. Here is her story. A friend of hers, Roxanne, asked Kim to accompany her to a bar as she wanted to introduce 'single' Kim to the cutest Bar Owner that she knew. So they walk in to the bar. As Mr. Owner is getting ready to leave, Roxanne introduces Kim to him. Mr. Owner and Kim end up conversing for the next 2 hrs. Kim takes this as a good sign as he really was about to leave the bar 2 hrs back! So anyway, at the end of it, they are all ready to go home, and Mr. Owner, tells Kim - "Roxanne has my number". Kim is shocked. Why did he say that? Why didn't he just give me his number himself. Or better - why didn't he take my number? Does he expect me to do the work? Me to ask him out?? She gives him the benefit of doubt here, figuring out excuses like, maybe he didn't want to give out his personal number in front of his staff .. blah blah. So she gets his number from Roxanne and the next day texts him saying - "I had a great time talking to you last night. And now you have my number!". So he immediately texts her back - "I had a great time too. Come on by the bar anytime." So now she is just pissed. She tells us she is not 'that' girl .. who is just going to go by and hang out and be a part of his 'fan' club. And this is Kim's plea to all us woman out there - Stop hanging out with men!!! Because more and more girls are 'hanging out' with men - men nowadays feel like they have to put zero or minimal effort. They have completely forgotten the whole act of 'pursuing' and have become emotionally retarded. Maybe if all us woman stop these 'hang out sessions', men will be re-trained to how they were in the 1920s - opening the doors and what not!!

My thoughts to add on. No matter how much sexual equality we women profess, the basic truth is we like to be pursued, we like to be sought after. This is just a part of our XX chromosome. That doesn't mean we will keep you running all your life ... but some amount of 'pursuing' is always needed to keep the spice levels up. So, even if you are in a 1 year relationship or are married for 5, plan out dates, romantic dinners, walk in the parks. Don't assume your partners weekend is yours, plan it out and make an effort to ask her and make her feel special. This may all sound very high maintenance for a lot of men ... but the truth is woman too do a lot from their end - the waxing, shaving, threading, high heels - none of this is highly pleasurable to any of us and trust me ... you would miss it when it's gone!!

Try try again? Not always!

2008-09-17T07:51:00.000-07:00

Being in love can be very painful especially when not reciprocated. We spend days/weeks/months and sometimes even years 'trying' to let go ... but all in vain. It's weird, but experience has taught me that the minute we stop trying to let go ... our heart lets go. Of course, it's the toughest to come to terms with that ... cause letting go means giving up all hope and we love to hold on to that last weak string of hope. That's just human nature.

Similarly, the quest for a new love, new life partner ... 50% of the people I know .. are on this hunt. Trying so hard to find 'the one', and yet so many failed attempts. Again, here too, it seems when we stop trying ... it comes our way. Love happens and you wonder what hit you! It's tough to believe this is true ... but time and again ... this has proven itself to me.

A good friend once told me - find happiness within yourself, be content on your own. You should never be dependent on someone else to bring this to you. Relying on someone else will only bring you pain - that person might disappear one day or might tear themselves away cause of your 'neediness'. And then what? Why let someone else shatter your peace of mind? If you find it all within, you will never be disappointed. Be content, be happy, love yourself - and you are bound to attract the right people.

Also, if you have to try 'so' hard to achieve them - ever thought maybe they are just not right for you?

I dedicate this post to all the beautiful people in my life on this eternal quest!

The Way I see it # 17

2008-08-28T12:17:00.000-07:00

Another Soy Chai at Starbucks, another thought provoking quote:

The world bursts at the seams with people ready to tell you you're not good enough. On occasion, some may be correct. But do not do their work for them. Seek any job; ask anyone out; pursue any goal. Don't take it personally when they do say "no" - they may not be smart enough to say "yes". - Keith Olbermann

Dhaba Joy!

2008-07-11T07:27:00.000-07:00

Had the cutest experience yesterday. I was just done with my gym and was starving ... so went to this cafe called "Dhaba Joy" to get a sandwich. As I ordered my sandwich, I noticed that the guy behind the counter, who served me, wore the Tulsi beads around his neck. I asked him if he was a part of the Hare Krsna's and he said yes. He was a young good looking guy with lots of tattoos on his arms and legs. One particular one of interest was the one on his left bicep which showed an enlightened soul and read "gyaan" in Hindi below it.

It turns out he has been a part of the Hare Krsna's for more than 5 years now. His hometown is Dallas and he is a part of the Kala Shanti Mandir there. He was a Brahmachari there but his Guru thought that he must get an education and then come back to the Mandir. So here he is in Austin getting his degree from University of Texas. He has one more semester before he returns to the Mandir.

I asked him how he got into it .. he said when he was in school his best friend was Indian and his friends parents were Prabhupada disciples. They were a huge influence on him. One random day, while still in school, his friend got shot and passed away. The parents left back for India and he immediately decided to join Iskcon. Tragic but he said it doesn't bother him 'now' at all. He 'understands'.

For now he was extremely excited cause in a couple of weeks he will be taking his first trip to India. It's a two week trip and he will be traveling with his Guru to Mayapur and other nearby cities. He has been trying to learn as much Hindi as possible and said he had been saving up for over 2 years for this trip. The excitement definitely showed. He hopes to get a beautiful Radha Rani tattoo on his left arm before the trip! :)

The Final Goal!

2008-06-24T12:50:00.001-07:00

I was in NYC last weekend and happened to have an amazing convo with my host - Mr.Z, which I had to blog about.

So we were discussing marriage and relationships (ofcourse!!), and talked about how complicated we ourselves have made it all. In the past - you just get married and you are committed for life. Today we have at least 4 stages I can think of -

1. I am considering dating the dude
2. Dating
3. Commitment/Engagement
4. Marriage

I am sure there are may sub levels to these stages.

Anyhoo, as we spoke more on this he brought up this excellent analogy which I thought was brilliant. He spoke about how there are 4 levels of employees in his firm - Associate, Manager, Junior Partner and Partner. Each level needs a completely different skill set. So when they recruit for associates, one would think they would look for those who have the skill set an Associate needs. Right? Wrong!! They recruit keeping the final goal in mind. The hire those who they think will one day make Good Partners in the firm because that is the final goal. How they get through the first 3 stages isn't the firm's problem - for the firm, this is the most profitable approach.

Same way - when we look for a partner - we sometimes get carried away by one of the initial stages like "oh why didn't he buy me flowers" "why didn't we go eat in that fancy restaurant" "why isn't he romantic enough" "why didn't he call me when he said he would" "why isn't my ring a gaziilion carats". But the smarter and more profitable approach is one that Mr.Z's very successful firm follows, if you keep the goal in mind - 'to find a good husband' ... does any of that really matter? We should probably be looking for other things like "is he a stable person" "Is he sincere" "Is he capable of making sound decisions" "Will he be able to support and bring up a cultured family" etc.

I loved it .. and had to post about it. Hope you find it as thought provoking as i did! :)

Reactions and Responses

2008-06-05T09:53:00.000-07:00

I was sent a link yesterday and I wandered off to the other articles on that site and came across one which was definitely one to remember. It was titled - "Reacting bad, Responding good".

It spoke about how situations happen, people say all sorts of things, and we react and that's okay! How we react is directly connected to our emotions - it really can't be controlled. But the part which can be controlled is our response! I quote: "responses have the advantage of consulting with your brain before taking action"! And yet, most of us respond exactly the way we react ... which turns out to be the cause of most of our fights!

Time to understand the difference and make a change!

This is it!

2008-05-30T13:02:00.000-07:00

Isn't it crazy how are heart works. Isn't it weird that the person we once pined for .. the moment we heard his name, we got shivers, the moment we saw him, we blushed .. that same person, today doesn't affect us one bit? And the same way .. someone we have known for months or years, can suddenly invoke these feelings in us, out of the blue and we have absolutely no clue how and when and where. We feel like this is it, this the end of everything! But, in reality, it isn't. If this goes away, we'll get over it and we'll get someone else to hold on to, someone else to love. But, no matter how many times we go through this, each and every time we feel, this is it!

No!

2008-05-29T07:24:00.000-07:00

Mr. Paanchvi Pass had an interesting point to make on my previous post ... when in love, put your innerself out there, be vulnerable beyond anything comfy. This point brings me to another thought ..... Fear of Rejection.

Why is the word "No" so fearful to hear! Is it because it will be a punch to our ego? Or do we subconsciously know what reality is but don't want to face it? Hearing the NO definitely gives us closure ... but sometimes I feel we go out there and receive the NO "after" we are already on the path to closure. Does this make any sense? You have to be there to know what I am talking about! :-)

Sex and the City :)

2008-05-28T13:03:00.000-07:00

"When it comes to life and love, why do we believe our worst reviews?" - Carrie Bradshaw!

I love SATC and the thought-provoking stuff Miss. Bradshaw comes up with. And to honor the movie release happening this weekend, I thought I should write my thoughts on one of her many famous quotes.

Why is it that no matter how many people tell us we are good .. we are beautiful .. we are who they want to be with, when the one person we like or are interested in, doesn't say it, we go through the self-doubting process. We start thinking that there must be something I am doing wrong .. some flaw in me. Have we really started craving pity from others? It's kinda disgusting if thats the case. How do we manage to do this to ourselves? I believe the ones who succeed are the ones who can say - "His Loss" and move on! Of course easier said than done ... but taking those first few steps is definitely winning half the battle.

They love us!

2008-05-02T07:50:00.000-07:00

Us desis have always been so fasinated with white skin .. the western culture. Many of us get embarassed of our own kind but are in awe of these Euoropean men who speak broken English in their fluu flaaa accents! But guess what? I was in Greece last week ... and everyone there loved us! They were so fascinated with our looks, our smiles, our color, everything! EVeryone we met was like Indian people are so pretty, they are so nice, they are so cultured! Oh I feel so proud to be desi (not that I needed hot Greek men to inovke those feelings)!! :)

Hey Hey hey!!

2008-04-29T04:57:00.000-07:00

Hey all!!! Thanks for checking up on me and pushing me to get my a$$ back here. Nahin! Ishq vishq nahin hua hai!! ;) Who is this anony who knows me so well??

Just been crazzzy busy!! Here's doing what! I have told you all about the Kalki show - that happened on April 5th. It was a fun fun event, at least for the participants. ;) The stress, the commotion, the rush - it was all thrilling and was well appreciated. (We had a really kind audience). ;) BUT, I am glad it's over. I finally got my evenings back, could start cooking, and spending time for me!! Gooood feeling.

And thennnn, last to last weekend, Cha and I had an amazing trip to the Colorado Rockies. It was our getaway - we really needed to leave Austin and everything Kalki related behind (except the both of us of course) and it was fabulous! Now the Rockies really deserve a separate post! So magnificent and yet so calm! Sigh!

And thennnnn, all of last week, I was in GREECE!!!! Yes!! Greece!! This was my first trip to Europa and I loveeeddd it!!! The trip was a very last minute decision - this is what happens when you have siblings like mine. They can buy tickets to Europe 10 days before the departure, with no idea how to get the Visa. That's my family! Anyway, I took the plunge and it was oh-so-worth-it.

Oh well, I am back to real ground now and I think I have laid out pretty valid excuses for my absence. I do have some thoughts which I need to write about soon and of course will be waiting for your smashing comments! ;)

Till then - Yia sou! (Thankyou/Good bye in Greek) ;)

Kalki!

2008-03-13T08:46:00.000-07:00

I know it's been forever since I blogged ... but I have a very valid excuse this time. Been super busy prepping for that which is going to be the most awesome show ever!!! It happens on April 05th, and if you are anywhere in or around Austin, you better be coming!! The show is in Tamil, but the acting is so awesome that it promises to surpass all language barriers! ;) Hey, I am non-tamil ... I should know!! :) You can get more info and buy your tickets at:

http://www.austintamilsangam.org/modules/news/

More posts after April 05th!

I Heart Hrithik!

2008-02-18T13:28:00.000-08:00

I saw Jodhaa Akbar on Saturday ... and ever since ... can't stop thinking of Hrithik! OMG! He is so insanely gorgeous! I was told the movie was long ... but he was on screen 95% of the time ... so I really didn't notice! The movie was amazing. I thought that age was depicted well and their costumes, the sets ... sigh!! Ok I can't really think beyond Hrithik ... so for now ... I love Hrithik!

"Why vegan" strikes again!

2008-02-15T09:09:00.000-08:00

Recently I had another one of those arguments with a friend about why I am vegan. And it bugs me that I am not able to get the point across. I do know that veganism isn't the ultimate solution and it might not be a very sustainable scenario having the whole world turn vegan. I really don't know what's right or wrong for the entire world. I also agree in the circle of life and the stronger eating the weaker scene. What I don't support is factory farming! The industry where animals live their entire life without ever seeing the sun. Where new borns aren't allowed to be fed by their own mothers. Where live chickens are stuffed into a crate till one can stuff no more ... and their beaks are cut off so that they don't bite each other to death in there! I am against tying the limbs of a new born calf for weeks ... so that the veal is tender and juicy! I am not saying I am perfect ... I am not saying I am right ... I am just acting upon what I have read and seen. I have taken veganism as the stance to not support this industry. Is this the ultimate thing one can do? Of course not! There is always more you can do. But like I have said many times before. Every little counts. Every person does what he or she can. Maybe choosing makeup "not tested on animals" is a stance. Maybe buying free range eggs over the other kind is a stance. Just like choosing cloth over plastic is a stance. This is my choice. I don't want to force you to take it .... but I do wish you would let me be. I do wish you would understand that it IS a sacrifice and I am doing it for a cause close to my heart and I do wish you wouldn't ridicule it. I don't think you are evil for relishing those fish fingers or chicken nuggets. I do understand giving up something which satisfies your senses is tough. And I am not asking you to give it up! So don't get defensive & remind me of all that I am missing out on when I choose tofu. Cause the only thing you end up reminding me of is this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VIjanhKqVC4

Valentine's Day - Holiday from hell (Cnn.com)

2008-02-14T12:23:00.000-08:00

Thank you very much: http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/personal/02/14/valentine.from.hell/index.html

Luv Shmuv!!! BAHH!

2008-02-14T08:19:00.000-08:00

Valentines Day - a day when many are proposed, many become committed, many get courage to confess their most personal feelings, oooh how romantic eh??? Well not really my thoughts. I hate this day. Acc. to me, this is the most cleverly commercialized idiotic day which we (including me) fall prey for. Who the hell was St. Valentine and why should me, a Konkani girl born in Udupi, care??? Roses, which would normally be $20 for the dozen, become $20 a stem. If you are in a long distance relationship, delivering anything which has to reach on the 14th of Feb is 10 times more expensive than delivering just the next day. If you forget to make dinner reservations well in advance, you are forced to have dinner at 10:30p at a restaurant you may not even want to go to ... just cause everyone at work is going to ask you where you went! And of course, you get asked that question - "Soo what did you get??" UGh! How I want to reply saying "Leave me alone. Mind your own business." So what if I am a couple and don't get anything? I don't need that "Aww Shucks ... it's ok" look from you. You seriously think it means my guy loves me any lesser than yours? Have you ever thought that the one thing it might mean is that your guy is ONLY doing this out of the fear of hearing you nag him with your high pitched voice for the next month?? "Aww Poor Him" I say!! And this is all for those people who supposedly have it good on this day - the couples!

The poor unfortunate singles ... oh they are just doomed. Oh how I hate those "Aww I'm Sorry ... you'll find love soon" looks, when the 5 cubes surrounding you in all directions have got surprise red rose bouquets and all you have is your sheepish smile!! Hell Yeah I'll find love ... and it definitely will be better than the loser you have wrapped around you! Grrr ... I hate this day for being so discriminating. It makes you feel bad for being single, being free, being yourself and being 'picky' about the one you date!! It makes you feel 'loserish' but we all know the real losers are the ones with those empty wallets!!

And the worst part is, even though I have felt this way for many MANY of those "Single status" valentines, the few that I have been a couple, I too have wanted those gifts and those bouquets!! I hate myself for wanting those. I hate myself for feeling a 'little' bad when I don't get those. Why should I force some guy to buy me overly priced crap just cause Hallmark thinks so??? I guess the only consolation is, no matter if you are single or a couple, noone (other than the rose vendors) has it good on this day ... so be yourself, buy those gifts if you feel it, buy it tomorrow if you are not in the mood today, don't give in to the pressure, buy them for yourselves cause you are worth it and most importantly breathe .... tomorrow really is going to be better (or at least cheaper)!

P.S. The one thing I really LOVE about this day is Dark Chocolate Covered Strawberries ... mmmm!! They should have those all year round! :D

The Morning Battle!

2008-02-05T07:38:00.000-08:00

I usually go to the gym after work, but there are days or sometimes weeks when other activities just overload your evenings and your gym session always seems to be the first to be off the list. So, at the beginning of this year, I thought, making a morning habit of it would really help free up my evenings, and also make it less hard to miss. But OH My God!!! Everyday for the past ONE MONTH, I have been setting my alarm for 6am. Every-single-morning, my stupid annoying phone buzzes at 6am and every-single-morning, I change it to 7am. You think after a week of doing this, I would learn and do something different, like maybe sleep early or even give up the hope of getting up. Well, I have done the sleeping early. There were 2 or 3 days I slept at 10p!!! And no matter how much sleep I got ... my eyes refused to open before 7! In fact, the days when I slept early, I got up even later and was terribly drowsy all morning! I guess the only good thing is I still have hope. And I have decided to give this a new approach ... and thus I post! Maybe if I announce it to the world, my body and mind will be more eager to change, to show myself to be different, to be motivated. I mean I have tried everything else. Never know ... this might help - psychologically or something. So, tomorrow, I am hoping you guys hear about my Salutation to the Dawn!

Grains!

2008-02-04T07:34:00.000-08:00

One of my most therapeutic activities is cooking. I love cooking. It definitely works as a stress reliever for me and also makes me feel good when I know exactly what goes into my mouth. Of course, for a diet as restrictive as mine, eating at home turns out to be a much more nutritious and appetizing option. And even though all this is really true ... there are many weeks I go without cooking out of pure laziness and we all know that once you lose track, we need that extra push to get back on. Thus, along with the "gymming regularly" resolution, I also have a "eat more at home" one which I have been doing pretty good with.

Growing up in a desi atmosphere, I mostly ate two kinds of grains - wheat (mainly in the form of chappatis, pizza breads, bread, pasta - mostly processed and not the whole grain kinds) and rice (as itself, idlis, dosas etc. - white rice mostly). But in the past 2 years and probably even more recently, I have been wanting to expand my horizon to more healthier versions of these grains and also, other grains and oh Lord ... there is SO much to try!! In the past month, I have given the following a try and each one has been amazing: Buckwheat Soba noodles, Whole wheat Couscous, Brown Rice, Whole wheat Pasta, Polenta (made from Corn meal), Oat flour chappatis, Corn Tortillas, Black rice!

So if you enjoy cooking, definitely think about expanding your grocery list! It's so much fun and delicious! And do share with me any fun stuff you have tried out ... I love to explore those aisles! :D

A BIG Gold star for Whole Foods!

2008-01-27T19:36:00.000-08:00

Continuing with the theme of my previous post: I took a trip to Whole Foods today. I have mentioned it a few times before - I really love that place and every time I go there, they give me a new reason to. I know it's a bit expensive ... but I think it's worth it.

As the check out lady bagged my groceries in the cloth bag I brought along, I noticed a little sign which said something like this - "Bring your own bag. Whole foods is plastic grocery bag free for Earth day, 2008". I asked the bagger what this was all about and she said that Whole Foods has completely STOPPED using Plastic grocery bags since this year. They did a trial run in Austin first in Dec. They got such an amazing response from shoppers that they have now initiated it company wide. Of course they will still offer paper bags, but they are the first and one of the few food retailers that make their paper bags out of 100% recycled paper! How amazing is that? I would any day pay those extra few bucks on my groceries to support a company like this one!

Green is in!

2008-01-22T13:53:00.000-08:00

This year it really is all about going green. And since I am such a trend follower and ofcourse I love our dear mother earth, here are a few changes I have made or am trying to make to 'go greener'. Some of these might seem insignificant, but if frail and puny Gandhiji thought that way - we would not be the proud independent nation we are today.

Also, I would love to hear what you all are doing, so that I can add them to my list.

Things I do:
1. Wash clothes only in cold water - supposed to be big savings in this!
2. Always clean the lint thingy in your dryer.
3. Use cloth grocery bags
4. Donate clothes I don't use - a way to recycle.
5. Reuse containers / glass pottles etc.
6. Resuable water bottle at work!
7. Resuable wash cloths for kitchen counters and brushes for bathrooms instead of the disposable paper towels - we waste too much paper towel!

Changes I am making this year:

1. Switch off unnecessary lights around the house.
2. Try to refrain from using the ac/heat as much as possible.
3. Shut the tap as I brush my teeth.
4. Say no to tissue-wrap while buying clothes.
5. Buy less.
6. Find recycling stations - I only have paper in my apt. community. I don't buy much of plastic, but would love one for cans and bottles.
7. Shorter showers. (toughie)

A cool site with lots of info that I heard about on Oprah is http://earth911.org/

MySpace!

2008-01-17T09:17:00.001-08:00

Space is something I had no concept of when I was growing up ... probably not much through college too as I had roomies and someone or the other was always piling up in my bedroom through wee hours of the night. But after the first job, and esp. after getting an apartment of my own, the concept of space started sinking in. I started identifying things as 'mine'. My Car, My apt, My bed! The more time I spent in my space, the more possessive I got about it. I could share it for a while, but beyond a limit, I wanted it back for myself. An evening with friends, a weekend with an out of towner, 3 weeks with my parents, became some of those undocumented limits. Whenever I exceeded them, I just got this strong feeling of "I want MY home, MY space, MY alone time back." I didn't think it was such a big deal, as it was easy to leave the social scene and come back to my place whenever I wished. But now, I am at that point in my life, where I need to start thinking of sharing everything that was mine with someone who is a stranger (when compared to all the others that I know!).

Is there a better way to ease into this process or do I just get married and begin those arguments on who has more closet space? I mean I love my closet, I don't have an inch of free room in it and if you give me a bigger closet, I know I can fill it up pretty easily.

Yes, there are definitely those evenings when I would love to have someone around to go for dinner with or cuddle up to while watching a movie. But I have many nights when I just want to be by myself - not really anti social - but more like "a break" from any associations.

Once married, will I have to give up that freedom? Do married people lose their individual space and start having a combined couple space? Or do many just have fights not realizing this is the reason that they are fighting? Should I be making deals with my to-be so that there are no issues on this later - "Honey, thursday nite is my night to watch aimless TV shows. DND!" And will that one-night-off deal be really enough? Or is this all a part of the sacrifice and compromise that people keep talking about.

I guess one logical solution would be to find a guy who feels the same. But on conversing on this with Ciara, we found a major roadblock here. Bunch of guys we know are postponing even 'looking' for their partners because of this very same fear of losing one's space. This is perfect for us, cause we share the same fear. We can't date the guys we are talking about cause of them being in the friend zone and stuff, but it definitely makes us wonder about the pool of guys out there doing the same thing. If these boys aren't putting themselves out there, how are us girls suppose to now find these boys and let them know we are on the same boat??? Help!

The Way I See it #289

2008-01-16T08:23:00.001-08:00

I love those little quotes they put on the Starbucks cups. Didn't have a chance to make my breakfast today, so grabbed a soy chai this morning and this is what my cup read:

So-called "global warming" is just a secret ploy by wacko tree-huggers to make America energy independent, clean our air and water, improve the fuel efficiency of our vehicles, kick-start 21st century industries, and make our cities safer and more livable. Don't let them get away with it.

- Chip Giller, Founder of Grist.org, where environmentally minded people gather online.

My msg for the day: Go Green!

A different kind of running!

2008-01-15T08:14:00.000-08:00

When in a relationship, do you feel like you are always in this mini chase? One seems to eternally running behind or away from one another. If he is running behind you, you show some disinterest. The minute he shows some disinterest, you go chasing him. I guess it's what keeps the interest going. Cause if it was just a one way chase, it would be mighty boring. But what happens, when one forgets to stop chasing and be chased. Is that the relationships doom? Also does that really have to be a conscious decision or does it happen naturally in the "good - meant-to-be relationships"? Or have I just been in too many relationships where aimless "mind games" have been played? Am I talking gibberish here?

Shoes

2008-01-14T09:18:00.000-08:00

One of my many resolutions of 2008 is to learn to differentiate between what I 'need' and what I 'want' and to try and buy only that which I need. Sounds pretty simple, huh? I read it in some magazine that it will help me from doing the unnecessary spending and facilitate saving more. 15 days are up and how did I do? Well I realized that the only way I could keep it up is by just staying away from the malls. That wasn't too tough to do esp. since I OD'ed on shopping in December.

But, this morning, I opened my shoe closet and even though I saw piles of shoes right in front of me ... I realized I 'needed' not 'wanted' another pair. How did I manage that? I am wearing jeans and they are a little taller than my legs ... so I 'need' to wear heels. And it's cold, so it 'needs' to be close toed. And since it's work I am going to, it 'needs' to be comfortable too. And out of all the gazillion pairs I own, nothing fits this bill! Does this justify a shoe buy? :) Anyone wants to place any bets on how long my resolutions last? :P

Acceptance

2008-01-07T18:30:00.000-08:00

"He just accepts the way I am, doesn't really try to change me." This was told to me 2 days back when one of my gal pals spoke about her boy friend. As I drove down 71W, her words kept coming back to me and I thought - Wow! What a great virtue to have. Accepting people for what they are and not forcing ones thoughts on the other. Lots to learn from lots of people, but with the start of this new year, I think acceptance is on top of my list. I have a few friends who have mastered this art of acceptance and of course, they are the pleasanter ones of the lot. I tend to want people to behave 'my' way. For example, if a person is not too punctual and I am, I just can't seem to understand why! Why can't he just leave early? Why is he so inconsiderate of my time? True. It is a horrible trait to have, but is it really that bad? There are so many other reasons why I am his or her friend. Why can't I just accept this as a package deal and live with it? I can think of countless situations where conversations and evenings would have been so much more pleasant, had I not complained or mentioned or nagged about some insignificant habit of a partner, friend or a relative. Yes, people do have habits which can get on your nerves, but I think I am beginning to believe that "not accepting people as they are" beats all the others hollow.

My "Type"?

2007-12-11T08:21:00.001-08:00

So yeah, marriages all around. It's just that time of the year when a whole bunch of ppl you know are going to go to INdia and either come back engaged to someone they didn't know 2 weeks back or marry their lovers of a few years! I am always happy to hear about other people's success stories in the love arena but I often wonder why I haven't found my mate yet. It's not that I haven't had opportunities ... but either I have messed them up or just didn't feel that they were my 'type'. But I can't help but wonder if I am the one who is cuckoo here. Are my expectations too high? What really is my type? Have I forgotten how to compromise? Or am I so heavily influenced by the movies, the love at first sight and the sparks that when I don't see it in the first look, I get disappointed.

I was talking to my sis yesterday and getting some words of wisdom from her. She said it well. You are never going to like everything you see about the guy the first time you see him. Even the best friends you have today, it's not like you felt the same about them from the very first moment. It took time and a lot of ups and downs to bring the relationship to where it is today! With time we grow to love the good in a person and ignore the bad. Then why do we expect our "love" relation to be flawless. WHy are we so quick to jump into a conclusion?

A random Leo horoscope of the day:

"You keep saying someone's not your type - but how has your type worked out before? It's worth giving someone different a shot."

Battle of the Sexes - A woman's perspective!

2007-12-02T06:25:00.000-08:00

I just saw Aaja Nachle and loved it. Madhuri is in full form .. her dancing, gracefulness, acting .... muuuuah! Anyway, this post is really not a review of the movie but is still kinda related.

One of the side characters in the movie is this ungroomed girl who is in loveee with a cutie boy. And the only way she knows how to profess her love is by sticking to him 24/7. She figures the more time she spends with him, he is bound to love her. But then, lucky for her, she gets advised. She learns from another's experience that guys are tuned differently. She is told that the more she sticks to him, the more he is going to run away or resent her very sight. So she first begins by becoming presentable and then starts the very popular hard-to-get game. She realizes that this 'hard to get' game is really 'hard-to-play', but she keeps it up and what do you know!!

Yes we have learnt the tricks and work arounds ... but it makes me wonder why men and women are wired so differently. Through some painful embarrassing experiences, some of us girls learn the above. Others are lucky to find friends to pass on this invaluable info. And even though, we are now educated, we still manage to reply to every email, text message and phone call of the guy we want, in a few mins. The 'ignoring' part is a lot of hard-work for us which we succeed at here and there. There are days when you get so fed up and take a stance - "I am going to ignore him completely today". The phone rings, it's him, you avoid. 2 mins later, you start wondering, what if it was something life threatening(when is it ever? And would he really call you??), I should just call to see if he is safe! And there we go! Ugh! Ya you could say we are kind and considerate, but more than that, we find ourselves so dumb when we call back, and he doesn't answer ... and doesn't bother to call for the next whole week!!!! Dammit I should have just ignored it the first time and left it at that!

The funny thing is at the end of it, all of us have the same goal - to love and to be loved. I guess we just like complicating the paths to attain it. Keeps us amused huh?

Dude ... here's my Face!!

2007-11-09T09:01:00.000-08:00

I don't care if they are the size of Mt. Everest or a green pea, stop staring!! When we speak, we expect you to have a conversation with us and not our boobs! They are just a stupid body part! It's rude, uncomfortable and you will never ever catch us having a chat with your crotch ... even if you wish it! I don't care if you have no clue how your eyes go there, please make a conscious effort to look at our face the next time. You have no frikking clue how annoying it is for us to have a conversation with a dude whose eyes keep rolling down. If you think you are being clever by quickly taking a peek once in five seconds, trust me ... we can still see you!!! Your tactics ain't that slick and all we hold for you is disgust. So, please, for God's sake, STOP!

To sin or not to sin

2007-09-26T10:39:00.000-07:00

Last weekend, I visited the Sin City for the first time and all I gotta say is I was amazed. I have been in the US for 10 years now and have always wondered what it would be like. I couldn't believe all that hype was of a place which made gazillions of cash by mocking beautiful cities from all over the world and of course pardoning all possible sins. It was funny to see how people, including me, where so in awe of Ceaser's Palace and the fake Eiffel Tower. The remarkable part about these pieces of architecture in Rome or Paris is their history and the efforts put at that time to build them. And after all that, these machine made imitations have become the #1 tourist spot. I used to think that gambling is what brought people to Vegas, but I was surprised to learn at this trip that gambling is only the 2nd highest form of revenue for Vegas, with #1 being entertainment - shows, hotels, food. Last weekend was just a regular weekend there, not a long weekend, nothing special, and the place was just packed! Packed beyond belief. The whole city's existence is entirely dependent on man's vices. Incredible!

Dance like ...

2007-09-18T11:39:00.001-07:00

The other day, 2 of my friends were making fun of how I always dance with my eyes closed. Not when I am dancing on stage ofcourse, but if I dance at a club, it will mostly be with closed eyes. I used to be real shy before, but now I can dance for hours together ... so I think the eyes closing helped. Kinda like trying to dance like nobody's watching by not watching anybody! ;)

Got inspiration?

2007-09-18T07:50:00.000-07:00

There was a time I used to think we had to read biographies of great people like Gandhi and Abraham Lincoln to look for inspiration. But the more life I experience, the more I learn that my source of inspiration is right next to me. I am fortunate to have so many positive influences in my life who inspire me every time I associate with them. I have learnt to cultivate many good habits, like being more patient or eating fruit, which may not save the world from global warming, but make me a better, healthier person, giving me more potential to inspire many more.

Here is to my personal Gandhis! ;)

Just For Today

2007-09-07T11:32:00.000-07:00

We all have our 'down days' ... it's how we deal with them and overcome them that makes us different. This is one of those forwards that I loved and printed and stuck up on my office cabinet ... a fellow blogger inspired me to post it.

Just for today I will try to live through this day only and not tackle my whole life problem at once. I can do something for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt I had to keep it up for a lifetime.

Just for today I will be happy. This assumes to be true what Abraham Lincoln said, “Most folks are happy as they make their minds up to be.”

Just for today I will adjust myself to what is and not try to adjust everything to my own desires. I will take my luck as it comes, and fit myself into it.

Just for today I will try to strengthen my mind. I will study. I will learn something useful. I will not be a mental loafer. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration.

Just for today I will exercise my soul in three ways. I will do somebody a good turn and not get found out. I will do something I don’t want to do—just for exercise. I will be honest about my feelings and take ownership of my needs. I will work to find ways to take care of myself.

Just for today I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, dress nicely, act courteously, criticize not one bit, not find fault with others, and not try to improve or regulate anybody except myself.

Just for today I will have a program. I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it. I will save myself from two pests—hurry and indecision.

Just for today I will have a quiet half-hour all by myself and relax. Sometime during this half-hour I will try to get a better perspective of my life.

Just for today I will be unafraid. Especially I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful.

If we want to develop a mental attitude that will bring us peace and happiness, here is Rule #1:

Think and act cheerfully, and you will feel cheerful.

—Author Unknown

The Casa!

2007-08-30T11:20:00.001-07:00

Casa De Luz! It's one of Austin's vegan macrobiotic restaurants. They use no salt, no sugar, minimal spices, minimal oil, I know .. doesn't it sound pretty bad? I thought it was too when I first went there - Aug of 2005. Luckily, I got a chance to revisit it when a friend of mine decided to take me there for dinner a few months back. I don't know if it's all the running, the vegan lifestyle or what ... but after that time, I just kept going back there. All the food served there is completely organic and whole grain. They use only vegetables which are in season and locally grown. They have a different menu for every meal. They are kind of pricey at twelve bucks per meal but to me it's totally worth it. Their meal generally includes, a salad, soup, pickle, whole grain, lentils, cooked veggies, and hibiscus tea. They keep tamari and ground up sesame seeds instead of the usual salt and pepper on the tables. They have special meals on Sundays and some other days of the month. I don't think I have ever been there when it isn't packed with people. Huge banner in their kitchen reads - "Nature is our Meal Planner". I fully believe that this food is so nutritious, that when my body lacks something, I crave it. It's not a place I expect everyone to enjoy, but it's definitely a place everyone's body will relish! For more info, visit: http://www.casadeluz.org/

Lucky Number 26.2!

2007-08-28T08:21:00.000-07:00

Alright ... I have been convinced once again! My lovely running buddy, Ciara, and the wonderful Team Asha boys have managed to pull me in again! But this time ... it ain't a half- marathon!! I am attempting a FULL one!! Gosh! I can't believe it. In Jan of 2006, I could barely run a minute. And now I am thinking of 26.2 miles. I HAVE gone crazy! My target race is the AT&T Marathon happening on 18th of Feb. I am very very VERY excited to start training which begins with a 5-miler on the labor day weekend coming up! BUT, I also dread giving everyone I know the "I have to run tomorrow" excuse. I think people got pretty tired of that the last time. But you know what, after 3 drinks who even remembered if I was there or not! Right? I don't know if it's age or just the overdose, I don't even enjoy the downtown scene too much these days and this training seems so much more fun. I don't mean to ridicule the party goers, oh I did enjoy that scene A LOT a while back, but I think it's just different phases of life. Yeah yeah! I am an oldie. :) Anyway, back to my running, I am really really excited about this!!! Wish me luck and hope my legs stay loyal to me!

Mornings ...

2007-08-22T08:33:00.000-07:00

Is waking up every morning this tough for everyone else or is it just me?

Every night I go to bed thinking, "Tomorrow, it's going to be different. I am going to be up early. I am going to try and squeeze in that jog or make it to that gym class. 7 hours is all I need." There are days I even go to bed early thinking, "Okay, I will give my body the 8 hrs or even 9 hrs it needs." But the sun rises, and totally independent of what time I slept, if it isn't time yet when I absolutely HAVE to wake up, I snooze.

What's even more amazing is how my mind calculates this "absolutely have to wake up time" in the few seconds between the time my alarm rings and the moment I decide to snooze. It's based on numerous factors - shower time, what kind of breakfast I want to eat, do I need to take a detour to starbucks, do I have an early morning meeting, is my car out of fuel and a whole lot of other factors. As the first snooze time gets done, it's time to re-calculate. This is when my mind begins to filter out those that can wait till later - "The orange fuel tank light still hasn't come on yet" "Who needs breakfast?" "I don't need to wash my hair today".

With my brain calculating and re-calculating, it's not a wonder why I feel so tired and groggy as I wake up! Last year I was running at 6a. How did that manage to get out of my "absolutely needed factors" and how do I get it back in???

Is waking up in the morning this tough for everyone else or is it just me?

Dreams can come true ... ;)

2007-08-16T12:20:00.000-07:00

Even though some of you have already seen this one ... I had to post it coz I think it's worth saving. :)

I had the weirdest dream ever!! I dreamt I met Rajnikanth and he was explaining to me that he doesn’t have any black money. All the money he earns is earned in the right way and also how he donates so much to charity. And this is all while both of us walked on streets of Chennai. And then, he said he wanted to pick his suit from the laundry place. And for some reason, his laundry place was this one room dhobi shop. And when we went there, the dhobi didn’t have his suit ready on time … but Rajnikanth was so patient and then he told me that anger gets one nowhere. We should be patient!!!!

Oh my God!!! What the hell was that? Why am I dreaming on Rajnikanth and why is he advicing me? AND, I am pretty sure that in my dream even though I was talking in English, I believed it was all tamil!!! This was one of those early morning dreams … superstitions say they usually come true!! :P

I hang out too much with you Tams!!!!!

Not-so-Emergency 9-1-1

2007-07-13T11:51:00.001-07:00

I know I know ... it's almost illegal to keep y'all waiting for so long and now start writing on something else. Well what can I say? I am really not in the mood for completing that story ... but I have got another one for you!

Yesterday I was driving on 71 E back to work from my lunch break. I and the car ahead of me were happily cruising at 70mph in nearly zero traffic. And suddenly, he brakes. He is down to nearly 20mph in the middle of the freeway. I jammed the brakes while cussing him like never before and the next thing he does is swerve to the right. There I was with no time to do anything and a bucket in front of me. What was a bucket doing in the middle of the road? Who the %$#& knows. Anyway, in those milliseconds I thought, no biggie, I will drive right over it ... and I did and immediately I understood why he swerved. I was now driving with a loud dragging sound and the smell of burning plastic filling up my car. I immediately switched lanes and parked my car in the non-existent shoulder. There I was, the 1p afternoon sun, cars speeding past me, a bucket under my car and out of my reach. I called 9-1-1. The so-called emergency line. And guess what? They took a whole hour and 10 mins, yes, thats right 1h10m to get to me!!! I slept the entire hour in my air-conditioned car ... but it did get me thinking:

- what if I was getting robbed or raped or killed!! One hour??? I means thats ridiculous.
- Not one person stopped to help me out ... even though I, a girl, stood outside my car for a few mins waving for help. KalyuG!
- What would I do had it not been the age of cell phones and air-conditioners?? I can't even think of any alternative options.
- Why are people throwing buckets on the road??? Curses on them!

Definitely want to thank God for things like the luxury of cell phones and air-conditioners and more importantly having friends to call/sms. Also, would like to warn others to not rely on the 'emergency' system or even 'people'!!!

Planes, Boats and Automobiles!

2007-06-27T13:47:00.000-07:00

A successful meet. It had been a whole year since all 6 of us had met up and been forever since we had met up in India. My sis wanted to make this one special. So we decided to do a Backwater tour/Resort deal in Kerala. We got ourselves rooms booked at the Lake Palace resort in Allepey and things looked amazing on the website. We kept wondering if the website was phony and what if we landed there and the place looked like a dump? It was amusing to realize later, that the place we booked was magnificent and probably better than the website portrayed, but getting to it was one family adventure we couldn't have planned.

The plan was over night bus Udupi – Bangalore. Flight from Bangalore – Cochin. And then a hired car from Cochin – Allepey. Shouldn’t be too bad? We started off on Sunday night taking the overnight bus from Udupi to Bangalore. This bus is probably one of the most convenient buses ever. We get on it at around 9p and reach Bangalore at around 5a. It’s a sleeper bus with AC and we have had many effortless travels on it before. Six of us got on it happily. My mom took out her little bag filled with mangosteens and rambutans to do the usual eat while you travel deal that all Indians seem to have in their blood. Know what I am talking about? As soon as you get on any mode of transportation, it's like a family picnic. On one of our train trips we saw the works, paper plates, dosa, chutney, chaai! What ever happened to eating at home? Anyway, back to our yummy fruits. We devoured them and then slept. We were going to be in Bangalore along with the morning sun.

I woke up. I was sweaty all over. This shouldn't be happening. We are in an AC bus. This doesn't feel AC-like for sure. Why can I hear people screaming? Oh my! The bus isn't moving! It was 1 in the morning and our bus had come to a standstill. Appeared to be a traffic jam. Some small accident had blocked traffic on the one lane highway, so the cars decided to use the opposing lane as a fast way to get out of the jam and obviously blocked oncoming traffic. So now there was just miles and miles of vehicles with no one wanting to move and obviously no traffic control. The engine had to be switched off and thus no AC. Our bus was stalled there for 3.5 hours. Global Warming didn't help either. I had skipped dinner the previous night for the want of controlling my calorie intake. Damn those calories!! I could have used some Gobi munchurian right then!!

Somewhere around 5ish the bus picked up speed. We had our flight to Cochin to catch at 1p. Initially we had thought; reach Bangalore by 5am, flight to Cochin at 1p. Gives us more than enough time to wash up, have breakfast, leave excess luggage at my aunt’s place and even time to chitchat! I now realize that any amount of buffer is equal to having none when it comes to travelling in India.

We reached our bus stop at 10a. My dad had hired a mini-bus to pick all of us. We had 8 international size suitcases which were to be left in Bangalore and then 6 strollers, one for each of us, to take to Cochin. Yes, you are right! We are foreign to the concept of 'travelling light'. We loaded ourselves into the private mini-bus. Finally ... we are here ...or so I thought! The driver informed us that my aunts place thanks to the traffic we all love, would take us at least an hour to reach. He was wrong. It took us an hour and a half. We were there at 11:30a with a flight to catch at 1p, 6 ppl wanting to shower, 14 pieces of luggage to unload and 6 to reload. Did we make it?

To be continued!

Got Clean?

2007-05-27T05:38:00.000-07:00

Fresh air, clean roads, clean water, footpaths with no pot holes, airconditioned malls (with the air conditioner actually working), traffic control, no pollution (- be it noise, air, water), electricity!

I am currently on my yearly vacation in India and with each passing day I find new things to add to the list above which I tend to take for granted. In the US, I often forget that I come from a country where the above 'basics' are non-existent and will be non-existent for years and decades to come. Something simple like taking a morning walk outdoors can be compared to a hurdle race. I continuously look down as I don't want to step on that fresh pile of dung or step into that missing slab of stone on the 'footpath' only to have my head bump into some random pole. Ofcourse at the same time, I will be dodging a million people, cows, vehicles and street dogs.

These yearly vacations definitely serve as great eye openers. It reminds us to be thankful for the 'little' things which are priviliges to many. Definitely motivates us to give back a little something to our own Bharat maa and do something for our bhaai bandhoo! Dad always advocated that atleast 10% of your salary must go to charity. Now I know why.

Do I really want to know?

2007-05-08T12:24:00.000-07:00

I got an anonymous comment on one of my recent posts asking me what my opinion was on revealing past relationships. I guess the commenter wanted to get my point of view on what a desi girl could handle. This definitely got me thinking and thought I should elaborate on a few of my thoughts. This is ofcourse only my opinion and I definitely think that the answer differs on a per-case basis.

How much is too little?

When I meet a person, I definitely want to know if the guy has dated before. Anyone in their mid-late 20s who has a similar social background as mine, better have had at least one relationship. Ofcourse there is nothing wrong if they haven't, but I am human and I will not stop wondering - whats wrong with him? I don't even think I will be too comfortable dating such a guy.

What about the details?

Info of interest to me is who/what type of girl he dated, why he broke up, level of relationship (fling, parents involved, live-in, engagement?). But the reason I would want to know this information is because I am 100% sure that I won't take it negatively. I wouldn't reject a person because of a broken engagement. A broken engagement might help me learn that the guy is looking for an engagement level relationship. The various break up reasons would help me understand what is really important to him. Maybe he broke up cause his parents disagreed or religious reasons. From that, I can then be kind of sure that if we are not the same religion, chances are I will be out too. The types of girls he dated can be a tricky one ... it tells me what type of a girl he is looking for but also shows me what type of girls didn't work out for him. SO not sure how I would use that info. Nevertheless, when it's taken as 'info', it can come in handy. Have to be careful cause none of these are 'definite' but it kinda helps us get an idea.

How much is too much?

I would definitely not want to know what turned her on or how hot she was or how many times, where all ... blah blah! If you give me that information ... God save you! :P

Again, this is info I know I can handle and so this is also the level of information I feel comfortable sharing. A lot of people say and think they can handle more than this, but when the crisis time comes, we start to use the sensitive details (knowingly or unknowingly) to hit the other below the belt and we all know that is sooo not nice.

Warning: I have met a few who can't even handle the 'number'! So again, this isn't the bible but I think is probably what the average desi would agree on! What say?

Got Thoughts?

2007-05-03T14:25:00.000-07:00

Was reading a Time magazine article this morning on the power of the subconscious. It detailed a few success stories of people who were categorized as vegetables and slowly regained functionality purely with the power of the subconscious. Amazing!

Have you ever gotten up in the morning and criticized yourself for being too fat, too short, too tall, too dark? Maybe everyday? Been at work and said to yourself - Oh God! I am so stupid ... I can *never* get this right. Well I have said it all ... and now saying it just seems scary. If our own mind is so powerful, why aren't we more careful with our thoughts? If our body has been proven to respond so well to our mind, don't you think when someone says "oh that cookie is going straight to my hips", our body will eventually start taking those as orders? Definitely gave a whole new layer to - "It's all in your mind"!!

All I can say is, think pretty, think pleasant, think positive!

Confused

2007-04-16T08:34:00.000-07:00

Ever felt like you are neither here nor there. You wish you could take a peek into the future ... just 2 months from now ... where would I be? Your past still pulls you back ... your future plays hide and seek. Annoying place to be. We come across this kurukshetra many times ... sometimes too often. It's usually when we are transitioning. Too scared to take the next step cause we don't want to get out of our comfort zone. On most occassions, the transition has been a good thing. Our experience tries to convince us that there is better in store for us. We don't have to cry over the spilt milk ... there is a whole dairy farm in our future. :) But still I stand confused. Unwilling to budge ... the desire to progress exists ... but fear of the unknown constantly wins. The battle continues ... I am sure this too will come to an end. I impatiently wait. But what am I waiting for ... isn't it all really in my hands?

The Desi man evolves!

2007-03-21T13:22:00.000-07:00

One very wise man once told my Dad - "Bhaairee dood mellaree, gaay kassala posche?" which translates to - "WHy would you bother raising a cow when milk is so readily available?".

If you aren't getting what this is meant to mean, let me explain it all. Historically, Indian men were always eager to marry for simple reasons - sex, home cooked food, don't like to clean, and freely available sex. SO basically it would be because most of them haven't gotten 'any' and don't know how to get 'any', and so they get married, coz then they can get 'some'! Or atleast this is how it used to be.

But the world is changing. Our desi boys are dressing better ... looking better. They are frequenting strip clubs which probably helps better their confidence cause those girls are so-damn-agreeable and then a few girlfriends and heartbreaks later, we have got pro's running around. I have seen our desi boys with some hot chicks - S. American, American, Polish, Persian, you name it! Basically, they are getting some. I have to add, even though many men like to announce that they are still 'virgins' and are saving themselves for marriage, but the truth is that most of them have done nearly every damn thing possible other than the final deed. So in my books - you are no virgin. Back to the point I was trying to get at, so now we have desi boys who are definitely getting some and just because of their bachelor living in the US have learnt to cook and clean. And ofcourse to add to our misery, we have all those gujju auntys in every remote city of the US ready to deliver a full-fledged delicious home cooked meal for just $3.99.

No wonder it has become so tough for us desi girls to find someone who actually wants to commit to marriage!!! And you knwo what the scarier part is ... when they do want to commit, it makes me wonder- WHy???? =)

A personal reminder!

2007-03-16T13:11:00.000-07:00

I feel very grateful today. Nope didn't get a big raise or a beautiful diamond necklace or a marriage proposal from some hunky dory dude. I got nothing new today ... but still, I have everything I need. And that's why I am grateful.

When I hear statistics like 80% of the Indian population survives in less than $2 a day or that 50,000 people around the world are going to die today just because of poverty, I can't help but be thankful. Oh my God, someone please hit me on the head when I complain about staying those extra 2 hrs at work or being passed up for a promotion or when I think my boyfriend doesn't love me cause he didn't call me for two whole hours. Seriously!!! I feel so ashamed. Our so-called sorrows are soooo insignificant that I am embarassed to even talk about them. We let our day to day crap bog us down so much that we forget what all those people, who are just like us, are going through in some other part of the world.

The reason I post this is as a reminder to myself. Cause I know that tomorrow or maybe even tonight, I will, cause of habit, complain about how dinner wasn't too good or how my hair is too frizzy! And I am hoping that one of you out there are with me to remind me just this very same thing. [P.S. It's amazing how statistics like 80% poverty isn't a reminder enough!]

Why are you still single?

2007-03-13T09:17:00.000-07:00

To all the single people out there, has anyone ever asked you why you are still single? Well I got asked that recently and for once was pretty tongue-tied. Not sure of what to say ... I fumbled, made a few random nonsensical excuses and got myself out of it. But it definitely got me wondering ... why am I Single?

I look decent, have a good heart, don't think I expect to be with a Salman Khan lookalike or someone as rich as Bill Gates. All I am looking for is someone I click with, someone I am physically attracted to, someone I can talk to for hours and hours and not feel pressured or stressed, someone who gives me my space just like I would like to give him his. Am I asking for too much? Isn't this pretty much what everyone wants. Do I have some outlandish needs? I don't think so. Then why am I being penalised for being single?? Stop blaming me people .... I am an average girl with average needs. The more important question is can you handle me? ;-)

Decisions

2007-02-27T10:51:00.001-08:00

I don't usually spend a lot of time watching TV but last weekend was different ... I sat quite a bit in front of the idiot box! So it's time for me to pour out my thoughts on another movie. This one's called Something New.

Something New is a chick-flick and I am sure not many have seen it. Anyway, the movie wasn't anything great or a must-see or anything but it did make me think. To give some background .. it's about a successful African-American woman, from an affluent atypical household who is faced with the dilemma of being single. She knows what she wants ... and 'him' being Black is her #1 filter. Her coworker sets her up on a blind date. She hesitantly agrees only to find herself stuck in Starbucks with a white dude. With time and a few more meetings, the white dude goes from being an unimaginable date to her landscape architect to her boyfriend! He was everything she didn't want. He wasn't an educated professional like her ... in her books ... he was a gardener. He was white and didn't understand the concept of black tax. And the list goes on. And yet she was happy ... she could be herself ... she could be free! A few fights into the relationship they decide to part ways. At around the same time, she gets introduced to her ideal Black man! He was tall, handsome, up for partner at his firm (just like her), similar backgrounds, loved by her family, polite, well-mannered ... you name it! She dates him for a bit and realises that she just doesn't feel that excitement which she felt with Mr. White. And in the end ... she goes for love ... and runs back to the fairer dude.

Now I think she did the wrong thing. I think she is in for a lot of trouble in the future. Sure, every marriage/relationship has its set of issues ... but by marrying someone so off from what you initially wanted ... you are only adding to the standard set of issues. Don't you think? Just like with time she grew to like the white dude ... she would have grown to like the black one too. In fact ... the latter I am sure would have been much more easier. But then there comes the question of the 'sparks'. She obviously felt the sparks and the fireworks with Mr. W and nada with Mr. B! So I am clueless and puzzled on what would have been the right choice. Any thoughts? Maybe there is no right choice. Maybe the 'right' comes when we are aware of and can own up to the consequences of the choices we make. Hmmmmmm!

The Last Kiss!

2007-02-22T07:50:00.001-08:00

I recently saw the movie - the Last Kiss. If you haven't seen it, I recommend watching it. There is nothing revolutionary in the movie ... no great ending .. nothing loud. It's a movie about a couple ... a couple who have everything going for them .. who have the perfect life ... and yet, they manage to screw it up. It's amazing how when we think we have it all planned and figured out and in our control ... life/God/the supreme power has a way of showing us otherwise.

Other than this couple who are the main focus of the movie, there are lots of other couples who I found even more interesting. There is an old couple who have lived with each other through 30 years of marriage and still don't seem to understand each other or have never fulfilled each other. There is the young couple who are dysfunctional to begin with and decide to have a baby to save their marriage ... only to realise that it can't. There is the other dude who wants his ex so bad ... he thinks he is in love ... but I think it's just cause he can't have her ... or can't see someone else having her.

I think my fav. part of the movie is the conversation between the hero and the heroine's Dad. When the hero asks the heroine's father - how do I save my marriage ... how do I make sure I don't lose her? The father says - "You can never lose if you don't give up!" Simple and powerful! He also says - "When you love a person, it's not how many times you say you love them or how much you feel you love them, it's what you 'do' that shows how much you love them."

If you are reading this and haven't seen the movie and now want to curse me for telling you all that the movie has got ... trust me ... I haven't ruined any major suspense. Watch it and let me know what you think. Would love to hear your analysis!

A tribute to us!

2007-02-21T12:45:00.000-08:00

We did it!!! And the rest of you might wonder ... what great deed did these 4 wonder women do??

Well, we trained hard for 23 weeks, we ran 13.1 miles - the AT&T Half-Marathon and finished strong and above all, raised more than $8000 for 'ASHA for Education'.

Congratualtions to each of us ... we really did it! :)

Have we brought this on ourselves?

2007-02-12T08:31:00.000-08:00

With the divorce rates increasing in our society, it makes me wonder ... have we brought this on ourselves? However sexist I might sound, the fact remains that men and women are created differently and nature had different 'job definitions' for each sex. In general, men are stronger physically and women, emotionally.

We women were meant to bear babies, take care of the house, stabilise the family etc. Men were supposed to be the earners, who support the family by working hard and bringing home all that's needed. But somewhere in the last 30 years, we women took a detour. We decided to study more. We wanted to be achievers just like our partners. We too started working long hours and dealing with all the external stress. I think we did pretty good at matching men in all that they did. But we also managed to leave behind a big hole. All those 'jobs' we were meant to do ... was left with no employee. Some of us expected our men to take 50% of it up as a part-time job ... but it was 'our' decision to explore the male profession. So is that an appropriate expectation? Yes, it's also true that most men have gotten used to the idea of a double income. Many want to marry the independent woman who can take care of themselves. The independence, power, etc is very attractive ... but is the marriage sustainable?

My own parents for example, both were earners, but other than the fact that my mom worked her 8 hr shifts and brought the money home, she did EVERYTHING a housewife would do. My dad didn't have one extra duty around the house. She still depended on my dad to bring home the gunny bag of rice or handle the credit card bills or invest in shares. She never opened a bank acct. on her own. She didn't involve herself in any of that. Come to think of it ... she worked double shifts all her life. Poor lady.

But women today ... we aren't like her. We want equality. We want to see those bank statements ... heck! we want seperate accounts. If we are working late, we want our husbands to do the cooking and the dishes. We artificially inflate our egos to match our partners innate ones. Is this fair? Why are we fighting nature?

Sadly, we have chosen a path which is nearly impossible to retrace. Good luck to us all!

What goes around goes around goes around.....

2007-02-07T14:38:00.000-08:00

I think I can safely say that 99.9% of us have at some point in time liked a member of the opposite sex who refuses to reciprocate. If you are in the 0.1% which I frankly believe doesn't exist ... you suck! :) Anyways, such responses have always left us doubting ourselves... wondering what we lack. It's a miserable phase to be in and my heart goes out to all those going through it. Yes, bitch all you want about that dog cause you really don't deserve their rejection, huh? You are just as good as anyone he/she will ever find. How dare they say no!!

But, just for a minute now, lets go on the greener side ... lets think of all those wonderful people who have expressed their interest in you!! Now that's always an ego boost huh? And you said no because:

- they didn't look good enough
- they had B.O.
- their accents/voice turned you off
- they just weren't the jerky Type A's you fall for
- you just didn't feel it (which is usually a cover up for one of the above)!!
- and many others.

The point I am trying to make is one made many times before ... when you point that one finger ... look at the other three pointing at you. Ya sure you don't think you deserve this ... but neither do they. Stop fooling around ... stop playing with others lives just like some others have played with yours. And stop complaining coz as JT would say .. what goes around comes around ... !

Disclaimer: The above post wasn't written during PMS or isn't an expression of my resentment of all those &*^%$$. I am actually in a great mood and couldn't think of any better topics to post on!

Happy 2007!

2007-01-08T07:12:00.000-08:00

Man! I can't believe it is 2007 already! I am excited. Have a bunch of resolutions which I am v. excited about keeping. In 2 minds on whether I should post them or not. WHat if I don't keep them? Won't that be embarassing after all the eagerness I have shown. Well ... let me try and make them as vague as possible, so that I can figure out a way to squirm out of it later!! :) Just kidding. I plan on keeping each of them and have done pretty well so far(51 more to go ... woo hoo)!

- More gymming (joined 24 h fitness again ... yipppee)
- Healthy eating(stay away from the chips, coke etc.)
- Read a little each day ( anything falls in this category ... I don't read at all ... and badly want to cultivate this habit)
- Off alcohol (no I am not an alcoholic but I think it's good to exercise such restrictions on yourself once in a way ... I feel it helps builds self control or something ... plus I could live with having more nights I can remember all about)
- drink more water

I just realised, that other than the 'alcohol' one, the others are sooo easy to twist around! Well ... I know what I must do and hope to do it.

Wish you all the best in keeping your resolutions. 2006 was one of the best years of my life and I hope for every passing year, I can say the same.

As for my posts ... work has been getting slightly busier, so I haven't had much time to write ... but stay tuned, will be back soon!

Sopranos is inspiring!!

2006-12-11T15:18:00.000-08:00

So I watched another episode of Sopranos the other day where the family just attended Junior Jackie's funeral. Junior Jackie was just 23 and had just broken off with Meadow Sopranos a few months before his death. Meadow was talking to her Mom about how she wished she could see him alive once again and then she said, I remember you once told me -

"We must maximise the good times we have with the ones we love."

Wow, what an amazing line. I couldn't stop thinking about it for days. Kind of goes along the same funda of -Kal ho na ho! ENjoy today, enjoy now ... live the moment ... stop waiting for things to happen ... there is so much happening right here right now.

I peeped into my own pattern and this is what I found, before I go on a vacation like say to India, that's all I can think of - how good India will be and how much fun the shopping will be. Then I reach India, and shopping on the streets of Mumbai, now we all know that's no fun. So I miss the Bartoncreek mall airconditioning and I am sick of all the diarrhea. So I wait for the vacation to end so that I can go back to my luxurious Austin lifestyle. I am back and I start looking forward to a trip at my sisters in Atlanta. I reach Atlanta and I miss my friends and the party scene and call everyone in Austin a million times to see what they have been upto!!!

I thought to myself - Why am I like this?? And after speaking on this topic to a few, I think I can safely say that many of us are like this!! We are always looking forward to something else, but forget all that there is to enjoy now.

Soak in the good times we have today cause if we can't do it today, we can never any other day!

Relationships

2006-12-06T15:52:00.000-08:00

The more I think about it, the more I confirm the fact that each and every relationship that we have & value today, is purely need based. Yes, we love to attach some feel-good reasons like love, respect, admiration blah blah as a cover up. But I am telling ya, it's all need.

Think of those friends who meant the world to you maybe last year or the year before. The people who you thought you couldn't survive without just 2 years back. Yes, some of them are still with you but many of them have drifted away. I know many of us are good at making those occasional hi-hello calls. But I am talking about people you spent 10+ hours/week with and now, not even 10 in a year. It's not that any of these people have become bad or that you don't get along with them or any such thing. You are the same and so are they. It's just that the situations/circumstances and NEEDS have changed. Maybe some of them got married while you are still single, some of them just moved cities and the outta site outta mind came into play, maybe you made a new bunch of friends who keep you occupied for more hours than you can handle and the maybes go on.

Making a harsh turn: there was a time when our parents meant the world to us. We didn't know anything outside them. Whatever they said or did, was what defined the word 'right'. Why? Cause they provided us the security and comfort we needed then. And today, yes, we do miss them and love them, but do we really think of them more than our current best friend or current crush? In many aspects haven't our time and energy spent on them become more of a duty?

It's harsh, it's sad, but I fear, it's true. As someone rightly put it, it is Need and not Love that makes the world go round!! :)

Got Sleep?

2006-12-01T09:08:00.000-08:00

As every weekend approaches(and I truly feel the next one approaching every Sunday evening), I decide that this is the one that I am going to catch up all that lost sleep and with every Monday morning, I realise how unsuccessful I have been.

But I thought this one would be different. I had a 4-day long thanksgiving weekend. I was so sure that this would be that weekend of the year that I would get to sleep and sleep till I slept no more. And guess what ... I averaged around 4 hrs/day!! All I could think of on Monday morning was SLEEP!!! How did I manage this?

It all started when a dear friend suggested that we should run the Turkey trot 5 miler on Thurs morning. I had already committed to dropping another friend to the airport at 6 in the morning. And since I have the whole weekend to catch up on that sleep, why the hell would I sleep early on Wed. night, right?? Thus, wed night - 2 hrs of on and off sleep.

Ran the 5 miles, and wow it was awesome. 9500 ppl running through the UT campus on Thanksgiving morning. Route was all hilly, strenuous and fun! As I completed my run, I told my gal pal, "oh I am definitely going to go home and sleep cause that's what I need". I got home, and with all the rush, how could I rest? I cleaned my house, washed dishes blah blah and before I knew it, it was time to get ready for a dinner invite at a friends place. Got back home past midnight and crashed. Thurs night - 6 hours of sleep.

It's Black Friday. With no alarm, my eyes open at 7! How could it not, I am a shopaholic! I felt wide awake and well rested. The 'happy hormones' must have been doing a good job cause logic tells me I couldn't have been well rested!! Got my comfy gear on and headed to the mall. It was an estrogen fest there and I did manage to bag a few deals. Fri evening was a potluck dinner which I promptly left at 11 cause I was 'tired' and 'needed to sleep'. I could have gone home but no, I couldn't possibly let that happen right? A few calls and I was jamming to some Tamil Hip-hop till 2 in the morning!! Ya ... I know! Anyway, so I slept by 2:30 and guess what? I had my Sat. long run with the half-marathon training group at 7:30! So was up by 6:30a. Thus, Fri night - 4 hours.

Ran another 5 miles on the town lake trail. The weather was beautiful and I felt I could run and run and run! The day brought with it a lot more - lunch with pals, a little of Fight club, first experience at a shooting range (pistols, AK-47, the works!), a pathetic 3 hour Hindi movie ( I could murder Ms. Rai), dinner at Trudys with mexican martinis floating around followed by 3 hours in downtown jumping to some hella good techno music(thank u Vicci for the new playlist). In bed by 3:30 ... up by 9a! sat night - 5.5 hours of sleep.

That is when I realised, I should stop expecting to sleep more on the weekends. In fact, with the amount of activity we sign up to do, it's insane to even think of it. Maybe I should aim on catching up on sleep during the week!! HA! Now that schedule is worthy of a brand new post! :)

DD

2006-11-17T10:03:00.001-08:00

Somewhere last week I thought I was suffering from a mild case of insomnia. I averaged around 5 hours of sleep for 10 days and was fresh throughout the day - full of energy, ready to party! And then arrived the cure - 6 hours of defensive driving!!! man! That stuff is potent. Apart from all the horrible jokes cracked, I think I did learn a few things which I hope to keep in mind.

They showed some horrifying true stories caused by drunken drivers and it was just sad. Got me thinking - is it worth the risk?? It isn't a cummulative thing, it just needs one bad moment!! Very very scary stuff. I really hope I keep my word on this, I don't want to drive intoxicated anymore.

Also an educative bit was 2 beers or an ounce of pure alcohol takes your body one hour to digest. So if I stick to 2 drinks for the evening and wait it out, I should be in an okay condition to drive. Still not the best of the situations but better than all the risks I have taken.

Did you also know that studies have proven that driving while using a cell phone is as distracting as having blood alcohol level of 0.08%? Yikes. Now that's something I do every single day several times a day!

Bad habits die hard, but need to die, and die they must, if I want to live!!

A follow up . ..

2006-11-15T13:47:00.000-08:00

Another interesting thing I heard which follows up well on my previous post! On Sopranos, this Russian lady who has only one leg, enthusiastically learns some new computer language. Tony Soprano is amazed with her zest for life and questions her about it. She replies, "In America, people have money, luxuries, all the conveniences, and still they are forever searching for happiness. They sit on their big leather couches and have to talk to shrinks about how depressing their lives are. From where I come, people are just plain happy & grateful when bad things don't happen to them!"

I found that pretty inspiring. :)

A post for my thoughts . . .

2006-11-14T12:08:00.000-08:00

I got one of my fav. compliments today - "You have a knack of looking at the positive side of every situation!" I love that compliment and I strive to maintain that attitude. I don't think I do an excellent job of keeping it up all the time, but I try. My message for the day is - we can always look at someone in a better situation and crib. But lets try to remember that every one of you reading this post are in a way way way way better situation than the 400 MILLION Indians below the national poverty line!! So stop wallowing in self-pity and act positive, think positive, be positive!! It's the only way out!

Good ol' days

2006-11-08T05:14:00.000-08:00

Somewhere around Feb of this year, I decided to revisit Orkut.com. This was a site I was introduced to early 2005 but never sparked an interest. But for some reason, this year in Austin, it became the 'in' thing to do.

Anyways, talking about Orkut I know is opening a can of worms. So many different stories, so many new people, so many scandals, the list goes on. But this post is about a thought I had yesterday. Through this site, I have gotten in touch with quite a few of my high school friends. These were people who I last saw 10 years back! We used to be in our navy blue pinafores, white shirts, some of us in pig tails, all protected and unaware of the big bad world. And today, we are in completely different stages of life. Some of us are single, wild and partying hard (ahem!), some of us are doctors making a good sum in UK, some of us have been married for years and have a few toddlers running around!! Man! It feels soo weird talking to all these people. The minute you see them, you go back to where you left and you forget all that has happened in between. Just can't relate to them being anything other than that girl you shared every lunch with or that boy who pulled your pony tail in the school bus!

I miss those days. I miss coming home to my parents. I miss those family dinners where everyone would eat together and watch movies like Chupke chupke or Gol maal over and over. I miss my teachers punishing me for laughing too much in class! I miss my parents being the most powerful and knowledgeable people known to me. I miss sitting everyday next to my best friend in class for 8 hours and never running out of things to say. I miss those hot evening snacks my Mom would make when I came home from school. I miss those long phone conversations with classmates about how the "Quit India movement dates" are just the toughest to memorize. I miss sneaking and calling my friends without my parents knowledge. I miss the fear of getting caught. I miss the dependence. I miss it all!

uhhh . . .

2006-11-06T08:30:00.000-08:00

So my previous post caused a lot of stir, so I have decided to write on something totally different, weird and (hopefully) repelling.

Here goes: I think my cat gets turned on by me!

So I have 2 cats. One is the typical cutey cat who loves sitting on my lap, purring, loves me brushing his fur etc. etc.

The second one hates being touched. He is one angry cat and loves being on his own. But then there are certain times of the day he kinda changes. He starts meowing in a diff. tone and then starts sniffing my hand. He will start at my fingers and work his way up to my neck and then finally my hair. He also waits outside the shower for me religiously every single day. And at night, he just watches me go to sleep and can't bear not being in the same room as I! It's almost like I have a psycho-cat-stalker or something.

Does this all sound real weird? And is it even weirder that I have decided to write about it? And have I scared off quite a few of you? :D

A girl's angle on the first signs of love!

2006-11-02T09:02:00.000-08:00

Having crushes and falling in love is all such a beautiful feeling. Esp. the first few weeks/months when everything is rosy in your head. With lots of experience in this field, I have always made mental notes of the 'signs' and finally decided to pen them forever. Ofcourse this is a girl's perspective. Though, I have seen quite a few of my guy friends experience some of these.

- Start thinking much more about the person than you regularly would.
- Are tempted to call the person ALL the time and actually have to hold back cause you feel you might be calling one time too many.
- You will put an international call on hold or even hang up if they call you on the other line.
- An email from them leaves you smiling.
- You run to the computer everytime you hear the 'ding' noise indicating someone has just logged on to IM.
-If it *is* them, you wait for a few mins, before messaging them, so that you don't seem to eager.
- It kills you when they don't reply and then you start wishing you had pinged them as soon as they logged in cause it just might be too late now!
- An unexpected phone call from them keeps you in high spirits for the rest of the week.
- You wonder what they are doing ALL the time.
- You are willing to drop all your evening plans just to go grocery shopping with them.
- You start going for parties/events which you wouldn't normally just cause they are there.
- You miss them when they are absent in the crowd you expected to catch them in.
- And your feelings of disappointment refuse to hide.

I am sure there are many more to add, so feel free to comment all that you think I have missed. And Boys, I would love to know what you think are your first signs of love if different from the above.

Communication Boxes!

2006-10-25T08:10:00.000-07:00

Do you sometimes feel that you can box your friends into one mode of communication? There are certain people I can talk on the phone for hours together but when I meet them face to face, I have nothing to share. There are some others whose chats are so witty and quick that you stay amazed, but the minute you make that call, their voice just doesn't have the same oomph you imagined. Some of us might like the shy kinds, who tend to be uninhibited over Orkut and might even put you off, but their 'sharmaana' in person, gets you all tingly!

This can be a very very scary thing in the world that we live in today. We are meeting potential life partners online, many of us maintain long distance relationships. With cell phone minutes getting cheaper, we spend hours on the phone as we drive or shop and spend lesser time face to face. We start forming our own versions of the people we communicate with and the few meets that we manage, we many a times get dissappointed. Actually, the scarier thing might be brushing off that initial disappointment and realizing reality only when it's too late.

Emails, snail mails, phones, instant messengers, blogs, scraps, face2face - Which box are you?

P.S. I had been wanting to post on this forever but finally got down to it when I received this email from a friend:

"I think our medium is email. :)"

Weighing emotions . . .

2006-10-23T07:42:00.000-07:00

Again had another inspiring chat with my sis this morning on the way to work. She saw a movie called 'Dor' from which she grasped a very interesting thought and voila, I decide to expand on that and post.

So, we all are going through some phase in our lives. Some of us are trying hard to get a good grade in that Math midterm, some busy getting into college . . . others desperately wanting to get out ... first job, new relationship, marriage, retirement .... you get the point! In each of these phases, we face certain problems and certain pleasures. Problems which can stress us out, which we want to discuss and pleasures we want to celebrate about and share with the world. But the moment we pass one phase and enter a new one with a brand new set of issues, we forget how significant those old ones were to us.

Let me use an example to explain where I am going. My sis and I regularly talk while we drive to and fro work. We discuss things which are important to each of us. She just finished applying to residency programs all over the US and is also on her way of expanding her family of two. Me, on the other hand, can't stop talking about the hottie at work, the folly that made my boss frown, the crush that I have, etc. etc. Those are things on her mind and these on mine. The only thing that has managed to makes our talks so inviting and beautiful is that none of us belittles the others emotions. I am sure there are times she feels like telling me, "Hmm . . . I need to get into med school and here she is going on & on about how this cute guy at work talked to her for 2 mins!" And similarly, she sometimes cribs about how her hubby didn't take out the trash or he didn't take her out for dinner when promised and yes, I do feel like telling her - "helllo, atleast you are happily married with a loving hubby." But the fact is, who are we to quantify the pain or happiness that others experience? Who are we to say that my problem is worse than yours or I should be rejoicing more than you? For each of us, whatever we are going through today, is *the* most important thing.

And so here is another thing I need to add to my syllabus - never devalue what someone else is going through cause to them it's as important as that which you feel important today!

And before I forget, the scene from the movie which generated this post is a conversation between 2 women. One whose husband has just died, consoles the other, whose husband is missing. She starts of saying - "It's not that bad, atleast you have hope to find him again!" but immediately takes it back. She realizes that each of them feels enormous amount of grief in the situation they are in and it's incorrect to quantify or compare one to the other.

Breakfast, workouts and more

2006-10-19T09:00:00.000-07:00

So, this morning, I had a mug of hot soy vanilla chai for breakfast and followed it with a granola bar. For the past 2 weeks, I was consistently having a glass of home-made strawberry banana smoothie and before that it was 2 weeks of a bowl of Kellogg's Vanilla Nut crunch with cold soy milk. They say breakfast is the most important meal of the day. So I try my best to get something in my system. But as evident, I get bored easy. I am consistent for at most 3 weeks and then I have to hunt Whole Foods or the web for something new to try.

On the other hand, my sister has been having Quakers Oats and Granola with warm Soy milk for the past 2.5 years EVERY single morning and before that it was 3 years of Raisin Bran Crunch! She loves it, she craves it and even if my mom is making the rest of us yummy idli sambar, she will opt for her granola!

This might just look like a breakfast thing, but the more I dig into this, I find that she loves routine, and I love change. There are times that I 'think' I love routine, but I don't really. Her only form of exercise during her 8 years of medical school was 3500 skips every morning. She did that every single day and did just that. I, on the other hand, tried everything . . .weights, swimming, EFX, cycling, treadmill, all in one semester.

Makes me really wonder how much this pattern affects the rest of my life.

So are you a routine lover or change craver?

Happiness: The simple truth

2006-10-17T11:07:00.001-07:00

A friend recently discussed a book he was reading. I found the concepts he spoke about extremely interesting and worth sharing.

We, human beings, are very bad at judging what really makes us happy. We imagine an experience will bring us lasting happiness but does it really? As an example, if we were asked, would winning a million dollars make you happy? We would jump up and say yes. Why wouldn't it, right? But if you really think about it, the million dollars would make you extremely happy the day you win it, a little happy a week after winning it and a month later, you come back to the same level of happiness you were before you won it. In other words, we all have a baseline level of happiness. These experiences (a million dollars, a handsome partner, a new car, a new job etc.) which we imagine will bring us happiness, do bring us temporary spurts of joy, but never the happiness that stays. We always fall back to our base level of happiness.

Ofcourse this doesn't mean that if we have a really low base level of happiness today, we are stuck with it. There are definitely ways of improving it and the ones I can think of are exercising, socializing, learning new things, community service, healthy living etc.

The point of my post being, we need to stop *waiting* for these big things to happen to us to experience happiness. We need to be happy today! now! at this very moment!! ... to be happy any other day!

The chase?

2006-10-16T08:43:00.000-07:00

How many of you out there get thrilled by the chase? Do you love running behind that which is unattainable? Love wanting that which you can't have? And if by fluke, you do get it, you lose interest the very next second cause you repel availibility. Does that sound familiar or have I just scared you all away? I need to know. I need to know if this is normal and I need to know how anyone ever gets out of this vicious cycle.

Maybe training for a half-marathon was a smart move. Running aimlessly seems to be my thing! :)

I love to blabber!

2006-10-10T09:08:00.000-07:00

So the group I mostly hang out with consists of 4 girls and 4 boys. The first thought that crosses anyones mind is "so who is seeing who?" And that's what's weird, right? We are 8 ppl who consistently spend several hours every weekend with each other, enjoying each other's company, pulling each other's leg and yet, are not currently dating each other. And even if any of us are romantically inclined to each other, we kinda know at the back of our mind that 'this just ain't it'.

So the perplexing qn is how did we manage this? We are 8 good looking 20-somethings, from the same country, with similar tastes, at the right age to mingle and date, hormones never in control, alcohol always in our bloodstream and yet, we manage to stay single. Is it the greener grass which is holding us back? Or do we really believe that some unknown that we will get introduced to in the near future is going to be 'much better' than the darlings we hang out with today? He/she might actually be better, but aren't we the risky bunch all willing to take this chance.

On one hand we complain about the arranged marriage system, about how we just can't know the person in one or two meets and so its such a scary thing to get into. But then aren't we rejecting the very ones on who we have invested, time, emotions, energies and feelings?

Maybe our ancestors had it right. They practised the first meet of the boy and the girl to be on the wedding day. Maybe they understood that knowing too much is not a good thing. Each and every one of us have our flaws but maybe the flaws are more lovable or the compromises more tolerable once the knot is tied.

Don't know where I am going with this, but you all know how I love to blabbbaaahh! :D

It's all about you!

2006-10-09T13:09:00.000-07:00

That song I can't stop singing
That face I can't stop missing

That act that makes me more giving
That thought that leaves me smiling

Those eyes that never stop twinkling
That book I can't stop reading

That dish that keeps me craving
That person who keeps me praying

The movie that leaves me wondering
That look that keeps me desiring

That friend who keeps me running
That house that is so welcoming

I do have a name for each and every spot
Could it be about you? Maybe yes, maybe not! :P

uh-huh life's like this!

2006-10-03T10:51:00.000-07:00

When I was in my teens, I used to think life was so simple. One day I will meet a nice, handsome boy, we'll fall in love, get married and produce our 3 babies!! Sigh! Am I disappointed! Now, I find a brand new route to trek on every day.

1- There are those people that I love, but only as friends, and can't even think of anything more.
2- There are others who I love, and think of as possible marriage material, but of course this category will never love me back - life can't be that easy!
3- Then there is the third kind - the ones I think of as marriage material, but for some vague reason(x-factor, anyone?) just don't feel like marrying them. (what's that even supposed to mean???)
4 - OOh the eye candy batch - those who I love to stare at, think about when I am blue --> just pure CC(chaksu c*&^) mat'l!
5- Of course my fav types - the lust factor group. Those who I crave for, but a relationship - no way. But at the same time, I am not happy just staring at them. Even though I know they are so not good for me, I want something more . . . and at the back of my mind, I know that's just another way to complicate things further - but that doesn't stop me, does it??

Of course with each passing day, the above intertwine and I come up with new combo's. And to add to all of these, being desi doesn't help. We desis are never satisfied, and so go about mastering the art of making the complicated just a little more complicated. We add all the wonderful prerequisites of religion, caste, sub-caste, state, food, class, language, color and what not.

Which all brings me to my subject, the start of a lovely Avril number - "Complicated":

uh-huh
life's like this
uh-huh
that's the way it is
chill out
what you yellin' for
lay back
it's all been done before

*Muah* to all those who put up with me through my PMS days.

You've got me!

2006-08-17T12:36:00.000-07:00

In the midst of the 500 daily emails I share with a few selective friends, I had one of my creative bursts, and rhymed. As lame as it sounds, I just *had* to post:

Some just wait and wait,
While others look for an attractive bait,
But who wants other fish in the sea,
When you've got me! :-)

I made this up in 30 seconds & I thought it was pretty cool! I thought of appending to it, but I thought and thought for 30 more seconds, got annoyed and gave up. Yes, I still lack patience.

Salutation to the Dawn

2006-08-16T06:59:00.000-07:00

It is 8:30a.m. and I can already say its been a beautiful day. I recently got convinced to sign up for the half-marathon happening in Feb and train with Asha for it. Had to report at Townlake at 6a for our first quality workout session. Sounds crazy to me too, but I succeeded. It was pitch dark when we started running, but after a few laps, I saw something beautiful . . . something so beautiful that it made every second of sleep lost worth it. I saw my first sunrise in Austin. The clouds lightened around the Austin downtown skyline as the sun pushed its way through. Mindblowing background. That scene kept bringing back this poem written by Kalidasa that my Dad used to talk about over and over. He wanted us kids to memorize it and now I see why! Pasting it for the benefit of bloggerkind! ;)

Listen to the salutation to the dawn,

Look to this day for it is life, the very life of life,

In its brief course lie all the verities and realities of our existence.

The bliss of growth, the splendour of beauty,

For yesterday is but a dream and tomorrow is only a vision,

But today well spent makes every yesterday a dream of happiness and every tomorrow a vision of hope.

Look well therefore to this day.

Such is the salutation to the dawn.

- Kalidasa

Dear Lord . . . Part 3

2006-08-13T12:02:00.000-07:00

Recently, two dear friends of mine, met with an accident. There were a lot of after thoughts on how the turn should have been made and what speed they should have been at, but all I could think of was - Dear God, you have given us yet another reason to say thank you! Thank you for saving their lives. Thank you for not making one of them guilty of taking the others life. Thank you for no handicaps. Thank you for not having me explain the loss of a loved one to their mothers. I couldn't stop thanking and then I got thinking of the little things my Dad used to tell us to do. These are things which I many times questioned, argued and rebelled about. But now with ever passing experience, I question my questioning!

My Dad had told me to remember the Lords name each time I got into the car, maybe even bow down to the moorthy on your dashboard, maybe offer a flower to Him, do something to let him know that he must take care of you. He also quoted a family friend of ours several times who, every time he got into the car, said, "O Paarthasaarthi, be my Saarthi" (Oh charioteer of Arjuna, Krishna, be my charioteer today). Yes, I too laughed and found it silly when my Dad said that. But I wonder now, is it really that silly? The more I think about it the more I realize, it's not which God you pray to or what you say, its the faith you have! Faith brings miracles over and over and over. Again, I am not saying that doing all of this would have guaranteed my friends no accident, but this advice comes from a man who has driven across 3 countries for 40+ years accident-free (*touch wood*). He often says, by giving the Lord the reins of your vehicle, you start respecting it even more, which probably leads to a safer drive. Definitely something to think about.

He also suggested other little things like ringing the bell above the altar early in the morning to let the beautiful sound spread auspiciousness to the day, chanting "Narayan Narayan Narayan" when we see situations we can't help like the cattle crammed in the back of the truck getting transported to the slaughter house, remembering Him before your flight takes off and then thanking Him for the safe landing, lighting a lamp in the evening near the altar, offering the food you make to Him first etc. etc. Now the teenage me would probably have argued that God isn't going to bless the earth with his next avatar to kill the butchers and free the cattle and stop over my place for lunch on the way, but I think what my Dad was trying to get at was that it is the faith we put in these rituals that will bring miracles galore.

So even though all this still does not make complete sense to me today, I think I am slowly learning to stop questioning and start believing.

A day in the life of Areille!

2006-08-09T17:41:00.000-07:00

(My first attempt at poetry ... )

It's time to get up, it's time to to run
It's time to face the morning sun

The birds chirp, music so sweet
I couldn't ask for a better greet

I get to work, relaxed and bright
and on the way, thank God for the beautiful sight

A few words with my sister, helps us both vent,
if it weren't for her, who would I torment?

Emails, issues, float around,
I feel blessed for the job I found

A moment of boredom and a mass email starts
no conclusions are made, but the chain lasts

I get out of work sharp at five
Want to go running before the stars arrive

The evening is quiet, sometimes a friendly chat
if gossips in the air, it is anything but that

Either a few giggles, or a few cries,
as the night arrives, so do the good byes

As I get ready to dive into slumber land
I thank the Lord for a life so grand

Spotless Love

2006-08-07T09:54:00.000-07:00

I knew him from a very young age. But as was meant to be, one fine day, my desire to see him elevated.

I was 13 and oh-so-naive. He was a year older . . . dark, wavy-haired, medium built and had the most intense eyes. His one look undeniably sent shivers down my spine. I started loving my weekly two hour classical music lessons even more. I could watch him play the dholak for hours. The music, the look, the emotions, the age, the proximity, the hormones . . . I get goose bumps as I speak about it. Everytime our eyes met, I blushed. I couldn't take his stare for long; I was extremely shy, innocent, young and couldn't comprehend the rush. I watched him when I thought he wasn't looking and that's all I ever mustered up courage to do. So guileless & pure, not wanting anything more than a few glimpses of him. I spent many evenings scribbling his name alongside mine on the back of my notebooks. I wondered if he would love me back, but I had no intentions of finding out. I was happy the way things were. I wanted nothing more. Probably on some level, I feared 'something more' would ruin all that I was experiencing.

Oh, I wish my desires could be so simple again,
how I wish I could feel the same way again.

Annual Performance Review: 01 Aug '05-'06

2006-07-31T08:15:00.000-07:00

Another day . . .another year of my life over. My time to look back and ask myself:

- Have I lived this year to the fullest?
- What have I accomplished?
- What mistakes have I made?
- Have I rectified them?
- And what are my plans for the coming year?

On the eve of my 2005 birthday, I had introduced a few changes in my life and I guess my aim of Aug'05-'06 was to live those changes. Below is a summary of the things which mattered to me that I managed to do:

- Stuck to veganism
- Raised 2 cats
- New years 2006 in Goa(lot of accomplishments there, which I don't think I should really elaborate) ;)
- Took a 3-week vacation to India with my sis and didn't fight even once (actually I am lying, we fought the day before I left but I think that was because we were subconsciously already missing each other!) =)
- Met and hugged Salman Khan in front of 1000s and 1000s of ppl!! (lifetime acheivement award on this one)
- Started running in Jan atleast 4 times a week and have stuck to it on most weeks!
- Losing weight ever since slowly and steadily. Look better and feel better!
- Ran my first 5K on March 25 - UT Fun Run
- Bought my first new car - Honda Accord 2006 ( I know, I know, but I am pure desi and can' t help it)
- Went white water rafting on the Ocoee river w/ my siblings in March
- Had a reunion gala with my undergrad buddies at Purdue.
- Attempted saving a little more, spending a little less (not really accomplished my goal but mid-way there) --> much better than I was last year!
- Trip to Tirupathi and walking up the hills (this is a yearly one)
- Made lots of good friends, lost a few, forced myself to lose a few . . . ;)
- 4 trips to Atlanta in a span of 3 months! (not really something I wanted, but loved every minute of it)
- moved apartments (now thats just lame, and yes, I am running out of things) :)

Anyways, the bottom line is, I laughed a lot, partied a lot, cried a little and had a great year.

For the coming year, the 2 things I hope to do is run more & pray more. I think everything else will find its place. :)

Dear Lord - Part 2

2006-07-26T07:12:00.000-07:00

January of 2005: I was living with my brother in his condominium. I had an excellent job and a satisfactory paycheck. I was very fond of my co-workers and the few friends I had made. I was comfortable . . . content . . . . happy! I had a routine going and I loved every moment of it. I would spend my evenings playing with my cat or cooking for my brother or just watching TV. I was in California; I enjoyed the beautiful weather. We had already completed a year of living together with absolutely no fights. He is 7 years older but he gave me all the space I needed and we never meddled in each other's business. He adviced me on boyfriends, my friends, career but at the end of the day, he left all the decision-making to me. What more could I want?

My company wasn't doing too well. I didn't seem to care. It hadn't been doing well ever since I joined. I just figured things would turn. But I was wrong. One day, the CEO was let go and the company announced that in 2 months time 50% of the people would be let go. I felt kind of lost, I didn't like this. I didn't think we deserved this. What did we do wrong? It was unfair. Why should I have to be the one to look for a job all over again?

As the D-day neared, I realised I needed to gear up. I pulled out text books, studied hard. Interviewed mostly around the area. Ofcourse I didn't want to move. But fate had it all differently planned. I interviewed in Austin, got an offer and it was time to make the decision. And ofcourse to spice things up, the deadline to sign my offer was the 30th of March and the lay offs were scheduled for the 31st of March! I spoke to my family, all had their own viewpoints. Me living with my brother was very comforting for my parents. My brother ofcourse loved it coz he hardly ever did any cooking, cleaning or laundry. My brother-in-law, the ambitious one, told me that I must move as it looked like a good career growth opportunity. My sister was torn apart and didn't know what to say. It was definitely one of my toughest decisions till date. I signed the offer and the next day, the director told me I wasn't laid off and that they would promote me if I stayed. But I had made my choice and I wasn't going to look back. I was still scared, worried and a little lost.

Today: Here I am in Austin, a year later and all I can say is that the move was my best decision ever! I love the place, the people, the energy, my friends, and everything else. I thank my stars for placing me here. I love my job and the recognition I get. All those fears I had a year back are long forgotten. It's not that California was bad, but I would have never experienced the Austin fun if I hadn't gotten out of my comfort zone and chosen to move. After all, life in Austin is my new cheese. ;-)

Dear Lord, please give us the power to anticipate change and enjoy it and not fear it. For it's only change which helps us let go of the old . . . and it's only when we let go of the old, we can look out for the new. And, also please help us remember that there is ALWAYS new cheese out there.

Dear Lord - Part 1

2006-07-24T17:52:00.000-07:00

"Who Moved my Cheese?" I read the book twice on Sunday and only wondered why I hadn't sooner. So much to learn from the 4 little characters, so much more I needed to grow. It took me less than an hour to complete, but contained a life's worth of wisdom. If you haven't read the book, please read it rightaway. This isn't a book review. I just wanted to pen down short fictional stories(loosely based on reality) followed by lessons from the book that I could have applied to the situation and should apply to our lives.

I felt like going to Mozarts. A cup of hot soy vanilla chai next to the cool lake sounded so inviting. I decided to call him for company. Didn't get through. At first I thought, 'Oh maybe he didn't hear the phone ring.' So I waited for him to realise that he had a missed call. An hour went by and then two. 'Oh my! He must have definitely checked his phone by now. I mean it's a cell phone. He must be ignoring me. I wonder if he is upset with me. Maybe it's something I said. Maybe something I did.' I didn' t know what I had done but wished I hadn't done it. My mind raced into all the possible & impossible scenarios. I decide to call again. 'Uh-oh! Voicemail! Should I leave one? Will he think I have called once too many? I don't want to seem pushy' I decide to hang up. Another hour goes by. I begin to cry. I call her cause I knew she would undertsand what I was going through. After all, she has been through the very same multiple times. I sobbed about all that I had thought I had done and wondered why I ever did such a thing. She consoled me well. I mustered up courage and called him again and decided to apologize profusely. Gasp! He picked my call. "Hello?", said a sluggish voice. I cleared my throat and said, "Umm, hi, its me! I had called earlier cause . . . " "Oh shoot!", he screamed,"Its 9pm! Wow, I have been sleeping for the past four and half hours. Man! I had a rough day at work. How am I ever going to fall asleep tonight? Anyway, how you doing dear? Want to meet up for coffee? Mozarts, maybe?" "Oh! Yeah! Sure!" *click*

How many times have each of us been in such a situation? Maybe not to this level or maybe even worse! How many times have we inflicted unnecessary pain on ourselves and then realised that we were fretting about a non-existent situation? But somehow we do this over and over (atleast I do). This brings me to the my first and favorite lesson from the book. We humans always over-complicate and over-analyse the simplest of things. I can't even count the number of times I do this in just one week. Given the time, we can scrutinize, dissect and make a hodgepodge of the simplest of situations. And in return all we get is misery and stress.

Dear Lord, help us keep things simple and clear . . . just how its meant to be.

I love 601 N. Lamar, Austin, TX

2006-07-21T08:15:00.000-07:00

Yes, I really really love the place. I consistently spend an hour or two of my relaxing Sunday evenings here and I look forward to it week after week. This location is the home to the world's largest retailer of natural and organic foods - The Whole Foods Market! And so I have decided to compile a list of things I have noticed and love about the place.

1. As mentioned in a previous post, they acknowledge & encourage you to bring your own bag by offering a 5c discount at checkout.
2. They have an enitre vegan/vegetarian fare section with some delicious kung pao tofu and sauteed edamame.
3. They have a granola selection to die for in their bulk produce aisle. My fav: Cherry Vanilla granola. It's pink and it's yum!
4. They have a gelatos bar which serves vegan chocolate gelato. Its thick, its creamy & umm umm good!
5. They have a juice bar where they use no frozen or sweetened fruits. Its all fresh and made right in front of you. Personal fav: Carrot+Apple+Orange . . . delish!
6. They have a raw foods bar: I have never tried it . . . someday will cross the line. But it sure does make me feel good that I have the option to do so whenever I wish.
7. The people . . . everyone at whole foods looks so healthy! I love the air and the energy of the place. It definitely helps uplift my spirits.
8. The labels in the soup bar spells out every ingredient they have used to prepare the soups. That's a big help to a vegan soup-lover like me. I hate having to confirm and re-confirm that there really isn't any chicken stock in this soup!
9. *Everyone* in the store knows what "vegan" means! In fact I have heard multiple times that more than 50% of their employees are vegetarians or vegans or raw foodists!
10. They have the ultimate wine collection and offer samplers too. They also usually have a wine expert in house which helps a clueless wine lover like me! :)
11. They have a beer alley with beers from all around the world. Now, I wouldn't say that particularly fascinates or attracts me but I like the fact that it's there.
12. They have so many fresh baked breads to choose from.
13. Eggless cookies - choc. chip oatmeal . . . droollll!
14. Lots of inviting colorful organic produce and plenty to sample.
15. They have a bin for recycling used plastic grocery bags.
16. Olive bar: (love the garlic/jalapeno stuffed green olives)
17. It's right in the middle of downtown Austin and still has lots and lots of parking(~900 spots).
18. They have a lovely outdoor seating place were you can sit and sip on your yummy coffee and pretend you are reading a book while you eye all the hotties coming in! :)
19. They sell organic soaps, cosmetics, clothes - I can't afford to buy it all but it just feels good that the place is giving people the option to try and buy!
20. They have fresh peanut /almond/cashew butter making machines.
21. The company originated in Austin.

I think I could go on and on and I might add on later, but for now, this is my tribute to 601 N. Lamar, Austin - the beautiful location of the Whole Foods Market headquarters!

Paper or Plastic?

2006-07-18T09:25:00.000-07:00

An hour of decision making finally comes to an end. You believe you have made the better choice. You chose 1% milk over the full fat, baked potato chips over the fried ones, some fresh fruits for snacking, whole wheat pasta, carrot juice and what not. You are on your way to the checkout corner to make your final choice when the bagging lady asks you - Paper or plastic?

I don't know about you, but I definitely have always wondered which one is the better choice. I knew that paper was bad cause they are cutting down trees for it but plastic is bad too cause it isn't as easily recycled. So which which which? Well some facts first (sources- too many to mention):

Plastic bags are light and sturdy; so they can be reused. But they are difficult to recycle as the bags are made of different plastic types and thus have to be separated for recycling purposes. Also, plastic production uses and produces a lot of toxic materials and plastic burning creates harmful gases.

Now you must think paper bags is the way to go since we have all heard they are natural and recylable. Paper bags, to be as sturdy as they are, cannot be made from a lot of recyclable material. Paper bags are also thicker and so they occupy a lot more landfill space and contrary to popular belief, don't biodegrade any faster than their plastic conterparts!

So sadly there is no better choice. We have reached a lose-lose situation which only we can help. A small & promisingly effective change would be investing in some cloth grocery bags and using them on your shopping trips(keeping them in your car is a great way to remember to take them). Another one is using and reusing the bags we already have in our homes. Places like Whole Foods actually give a 5c discount every time you use your own bags. Even if one person takes this advice on one shopping trip, this will be time well spent and space well used. So, next time that uninterested checkout lady bags your pack of gum, please act!

P.S. Watching movies like "An Inconvenient Truth" and reading up articles on similar thoughts, has forced me to feel it's high time each of us stop blaming someone else for all that is happening and start taking actions. Our main problem is we don't believe that "I" can make a difference. We have become so used to blaming it on the government and the poor and the rich and our neighbors! I will keep coming up with more environment friendly and mother nature love posts on and off. Boring but necessary points to get across.

Love . . . or something like it!

2006-07-17T07:27:00.000-07:00

True love is unconditional, blind, pure . . . blah blah blah! Yes, we have all heard this before but are you one of those people who profess this crap? Pls say yes cause I am in a mood to give you a fun reality check. No no, I didn't get up on the wrong side of the bed and nor do I have those nasty Monday blues. I am well relaxed and in a great mood really. But when people talk about idealistic love, it annoys the crap out of me. All I can think is "Dumb dumb Dumb!"

Don't get me wrong, I love love. I love falling in love. I love being in love. I love being loved and if you know me well enough, you know that I am always in love. But when people babble about purity and selflessness true love holds, it makes me want to shake them up.

Lets break it out:

Love is unconditional? Seriously, think about it. Can you stay in 'love' when the person you love rejects you? Ofcourse different people take different time spans to recuperate. But thats entirely different. That's not 'still being in love', that's how long it takes your bruised ego to heal. If love was so unconditional, why would you ever want to move on? You move on cause you are on the hunt for that person that would feed your ego and satisfy your needs. Your boyfriend only loves you, cause you care for him, and cook for him and show him your wild side. And your girlfriend loves you cause you make her feel wanted, do sweet things for her, give her surprises & take her out. When you feel that in this relationship, you are just giving and giving and not getting any(pun intended :D), you always want out.

Love is blind? Ya right. Do I even need to refute this one? Now I am not saying all of us are totally superficial and want only Pam Ands and Brad Pitt in our arms. But the fact remains that all of us do want someone we can appreciate, someone we are proud to show off. We need to reach a level of physical attraction for the relationship to run. We all have different standards and contrary to belief, I don't think the standards are directly proportional to our looks. But we are definitely not blind. We do look at looks, wealth, habits, hygeine, manners etc etc. If love was so blind, M.A.C and Lancome would be bankrupt, and I would be married to Salman Khan!

Love is pure? What does that even mean? I am going to ignore this one cause you have to agree with me on this: the dirtier the better!

Anyway, to me, love is needy, love is selfish, love is motivated to get what it wants & love is contingent and thats what keeps me in love all the time! :)

As the blue fades away . . .

2006-07-12T06:48:00.000-07:00

The alarm rings, I am ready to get up. Don't want to laze around, don't want to snooze. I open the shades, let the sun fall on my face. Love the feeling, love the warmth. My kitty jumps on my bed. He wants some love. I get amused with his purring and his cute meows. Start getting ready for work. My pants feel loose . . . 'Yes! I have lost some weight.' I take a look at myself . . . 'I look gorgeous.' Just yesterday I was so blue and today I am so bright. Was it my 40 minute run yesterday that gave my body a makeover? Don't know about that, but my attitude sure did take a U-turn. That brings me to my favorite thought - Attitude is Everything. There is nothing in the world you can't acheive and as long as you believe you can, you can.

So here I am, eager to greet this beautiful day . . . and as the blue fades away, I think, rang de basanti.

I'm Blue da ba dee da ba daa

2006-07-11T06:32:00.000-07:00

I hate this feeling, but I can't help it. It follows me quietly all month and then catches up with me every 28 days. I try to stay cheerful, but it makes me all sad. I try to smile, but I end up maintaining the frown. Curses on this time of the month.

I feel alone. I suddenly remember we are all going to die . . . and we are all going to die alone. I realise how fragile each of our lives are. We live in a selfish selfish world. We are forever running behind things. When we want something, we make ourselves beleive that nothing else in the whole world matters. But as soon as we attain it, we even forget to maintain the 2 seconds of happiness before we find something else to run after. How sad are we.

I feel a void in my life. I am looking for things around me to fill that void. Should I be making more friends? Maybe a vacation? Should I get married? Maybe have a child? I *think* this will make me happy, but will it really? Or will it just increase my desires and then my expectations and in turn, lead to a bigger void.

What are we running after and why are we running at all? Why can't we just be content? Happy with what we have. Oh, that sounds absurd. If things were that simple, would antidepressants ever sell.

But all this also makes me wonder, do we really want to be content? Or are we actually content with the loneliness and void we feel. Maybe we feel we have something to talk about, something to complain about. Maybe we like the drama around us . . . it keeps us going. In fact, I think contentment repels people & as we all know, misery loves company.

In conclusion, I am just blue and need to blab!

Do you speak the right language?

2006-07-09T14:50:00.000-07:00

At a family brunch on Sunday, my brother started talking about a book he recently read - 'The Five Love languages'. The author describes that there are only five love languages that everyone in the world understands. They are

1. words of affirmation
2. gifts
3. quality time
4. acts of service &
5. physical touch

To express your love to a person, you first need to figure which one of these languages he/she understands. Most people commit the mistake of conversing with their loved one in their own love language, which would be equivalent to speaking Hebrew with me. And so a lot of dysfunctional couples *think* they are putting in a lot of effort(which they probably are), but when the effort isn't the *right* type, it's of no use.

My family after learning this continued on with a fun game. All of us thought of our own love languages for 5 mins and then guessed each others languages. This *game* opened up so many unknowns and in some way I think helped us undertsand each other a little better. I was with my siblings & my parents . . . I have known them for so long, and yet I erred in understanding what would be the most important to them. But once brunch was done, I felt like I knew what to do . . . I had the power to please, to love, and to be loved.

As cheesy as it sounds, this got me thinking of each of my friends, relatives etc. All I wanted to do next was to tell them how much I love them cause I don't think I ever have.

Cats, Dogs and Men!

2006-07-07T07:12:00.000-07:00

In some weird scary way, I have come up with traits in cats and dogs which would compare to my ideal and not-so-ideal man respectively:

INDEPENDENCE: Cats have a life of their own. They don't want to do *everything* together. They play around the house with their toys, and they happily bask in the sun all alone. I get to do my own thing while they play. Dogs are demanding. As soon as you come home, they pounce on you. Their only form of play, is when you go out to the park and throw them a frisbee.

ASSERTIVENESS: Cats love to be pampered. But they don't need to be pampered all the time. Infact, they will let you know clearly when they need to be pampered. And if you don't pamper them, they will demand it. Dogs on the other hand, are a little wussy(no clue if that's a real word). They will wimper and look all puppy faced(aaah!), but will never put their foot down. They will bear the torture of 'not being pampered' cause they imagine thats what their master wants! *Boorrring!*

SELF-CONTROL: I can leave out 3 days worth of food when I go on a weekend trip and my cats will only eat what is required. Dogs on the other hand can eat a whole 15 lb bag of food in one sitting and kill themselves, if you keep pouring their bowl.

WELL-MANNERED: Cats never have to be litter trained or given a bath. They religiously spend hours cleaning themselves up to make their whites whiter and colors brighter. My 4-week old kitten, never once littered outside its box. Before he knew where he was, he knew where to potty! Dogs on the other hand, will get dirty as soon as you give them a bath and then will make it a point to roll over your new persian carpet. Ofcourse, never on purpose, just pure stupidity.

PREDICTABILITY: You never know what a cat is thinking. They love keeping you guessing, keeping you wanting more. They never let you have too much of them and that keeps your desires at peak. Dogs are too busy wanting to please. They will stand, sit, roll, shake hands at the twitch of your finger. They never go out of the box & once they learn the tricks you have taught them, they hardly ever surprise you.

This post is dedicated to my 2 beautiful kittie-kats.

Disclaimer: I love animals and have nothing against the canines.