Areille - the Lioness of God

Monday, October 23, 2006

Weighing emotions . . .

Again had another inspiring chat with my sis this morning on the way to work. She saw a movie called 'Dor' from which she grasped a very interesting thought and voila, I decide to expand on that and post.

So, we all are going through some phase in our lives. Some of us are trying hard to get a good grade in that Math midterm, some busy getting into college . . . others desperately wanting to get out ... first job, new relationship, marriage, retirement .... you get the point! In each of these phases, we face certain problems and certain pleasures. Problems which can stress us out, which we want to discuss and pleasures we want to celebrate about and share with the world. But the moment we pass one phase and enter a new one with a brand new set of issues, we forget how significant those old ones were to us.

Let me use an example to explain where I am going. My sis and I regularly talk while we drive to and fro work. We discuss things which are important to each of us. She just finished applying to residency programs all over the US and is also on her way of expanding her family of two. Me, on the other hand, can't stop talking about the hottie at work, the folly that made my boss frown, the crush that I have, etc. etc. Those are things on her mind and these on mine. The only thing that has managed to makes our talks so inviting and beautiful is that none of us belittles the others emotions. I am sure there are times she feels like telling me, "Hmm . . . I need to get into med school and here she is going on & on about how this cute guy at work talked to her for 2 mins!" And similarly, she sometimes cribs about how her hubby didn't take out the trash or he didn't take her out for dinner when promised and yes, I do feel like telling her - "helllo, atleast you are happily married with a loving hubby." But the fact is, who are we to quantify the pain or happiness that others experience? Who are we to say that my problem is worse than yours or I should be rejoicing more than you? For each of us, whatever we are going through today, is *the* most important thing.

And so here is another thing I need to add to my syllabus - never devalue what someone else is going through cause to them it's as important as that which you feel important today!

And before I forget, the scene from the movie which generated this post is a conversation between 2 women. One whose husband has just died, consoles the other, whose husband is missing. She starts of saying - "It's not that bad, atleast you have hope to find him again!" but immediately takes it back. She realizes that each of them feels enormous amount of grief in the situation they are in and it's incorrect to quantify or compare one to the other.


  • At 10/23/2006 4:19 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    As difficult as this is to do, AMEN!

  • At 10/24/2006 8:10 AM, Blogger SternMystic said…

    Very Insightful!!!

  • At 10/24/2006 8:13 AM, Blogger woorkeri wittynathan said…

    Well said. It's something we all go through every now and then. There's no point in comparing the state of affairs (no pun intended) in your life to that of others. All of us have a ton of great things going on in our lives and a few not so great things. The scale and relative importance of the lacking pieces is relatively unimportant. The key is to celebrate what we have and strive for what we don't and not let the lack of a particular piece make us feel 'less happy'. What you may have, others may not and vice versa.

  • At 10/24/2006 9:29 AM, Anonymous Dhwipa Patel said…

    Girl, you speak my mind.. I go thru these random thoughts - the hottie at the airport, the security guys who flirt with me and I flirt back so they let me sneak thru the more than 3 ounces of hand lotion coz they know I cannot live without my lotion on the plane - these minial things and yet there is a huge plan somewhere unfolding and I am still bogged down with the not so important details of my routines and like you mentioned... there is no point comparing your life to others but it definitely provides perspective to me when I do introspect on the treadmills, ellipticals, the first class and not so first class - next to the bathroom with a fat guy seats on the plane... Recently, I have come to the realization that I will celebrate openly -every occasion and make sure that there is no regret anymore... I am not perfect and don't intend to be and that shouldn't bringing me down - when I compare myself to the 'perceived perfect people'- Instead I have recently just accepted and learned to embrace my imperfections and celebrate my positives.... ll these years I have constantly thought about how do I perfect myself to someone else's standards and those are not even defined... know this is a blah blah but your blogs really reflect how I think many times... you pen my thoguths perfectly - - - way to go - - - keep them coming

  • At 10/24/2006 11:11 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Just thinking, a guy's thought process is so simple and predictable, and even boring to some extent, whereas a woman's thinking is super-ultra-mega complex (No offense to the women-folk, I still love them a lot :)).. Some things that are so obvious to a guy, are just as un-obvious to a girl. I am not saying that we are right all the time, we are most definitely not.. but we just don't spend that much time thinking..

    Being a guy, I think I think a lot more than the average guy, and still sometimes I am totally blown away by how much I did not think in a certain situation with a girl. Kahan se aati hai itni saari thoughts tum logon ko? I don't know if you have realized, but it is really hard being a guy these days :)

    Hai Hai, the women in my life.. so dramatic, so complicated, yet so beautiful :)

  • At 10/24/2006 1:22 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Dear last-anon-guy,

    You must stop confusing others by posting something that is totally unrelated to Areille's "Weighing Emotions" post.

    Get a perspective, any perspective! It's "hard" being a guy, we know. That's all there's to being a guy anyway! ;)

    - First-Anon-Lady

  • At 10/25/2006 2:43 AM, Blogger Shebang said…

    Emoting does come naturally to women. You both are in a way lucky to have each other.

    Guys like to go at it alone with our problems. Sort things out, Reflect if you will.

    End result is often the same.


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