MySpace!

Space is something I had no concept of when I was growing up ... probably not much through college too as I had roomies and someone or the other was always piling up in my bedroom through wee hours of the night. But after the first job, and esp. after getting an apartment of my own, the concept of space started sinking in. I started identifying things as 'mine'. My Car, My apt, My bed! The more time I spent in my space, the more possessive I got about it. I could share it for a while, but beyond a limit, I wanted it back for myself. An evening with friends, a weekend with an out of towner, 3 weeks with my parents, became some of those undocumented limits. Whenever I exceeded them, I just got this strong feeling of "I want MY home, MY space, MY alone time back." I didn't think it was such a big deal, as it was easy to leave the social scene and come back to my place whenever I wished. But now, I am at that point in my life, where I need to start thinking of sharing everything that was mine with someone who is a stranger (when compared to all the others that I know!).

Is there a better way to ease into this process or do I just get married and begin those arguments on who has more closet space? I mean I love my closet, I don't have an inch of free room in it and if you give me a bigger closet, I know I can fill it up pretty easily.

Yes, there are definitely those evenings when I would love to have someone around to go for dinner with or cuddle up to while watching a movie. But I have many nights when I just want to be by myself - not really anti social - but more like "a break" from any associations.

Once married, will I have to give up that freedom? Do married people lose their individual space and start having a combined couple space? Or do many just have fights not realizing this is the reason that they are fighting? Should I be making deals with my to-be so that there are no issues on this later - "Honey, thursday nite is my night to watch aimless TV shows. DND!" And will that one-night-off deal be really enough? Or is this all a part of the sacrifice and compromise that people keep talking about.

I guess one logical solution would be to find a guy who feels the same. But on conversing on this with Ciara, we found a major roadblock here. Bunch of guys we know are postponing even 'looking' for their partners because of this very same fear of losing one's space. This is perfect for us, cause we share the same fear. We can't date the guys we are talking about cause of them being in the friend zone and stuff, but it definitely makes us wonder about the pool of guys out there doing the same thing. If these boys aren't putting themselves out there, how are us girls suppose to now find these boys and let them know we are on the same boat??? Help!