The Dying Pursuit!
A good friend got me hooked on to listening to "Your time with Kim" which happens at 94.7 on weeknights. It's a girly talk show and I love it.
Anyway, so the other day, she said something interesting that I had to blog about. Here is her story. A friend of hers, Roxanne, asked Kim to accompany her to a bar as she wanted to introduce 'single' Kim to the cutest Bar Owner that she knew. So they walk in to the bar. As Mr. Owner is getting ready to leave, Roxanne introduces Kim to him. Mr. Owner and Kim end up conversing for the next 2 hrs. Kim takes this as a good sign as he really was about to leave the bar 2 hrs back! So anyway, at the end of it, they are all ready to go home, and Mr. Owner, tells Kim - "Roxanne has my number". Kim is shocked. Why did he say that? Why didn't he just give me his number himself. Or better - why didn't he take my number? Does he expect me to do the work? Me to ask him out?? She gives him the benefit of doubt here, figuring out excuses like, maybe he didn't want to give out his personal number in front of his staff .. blah blah. So she gets his number from Roxanne and the next day texts him saying - "I had a great time talking to you last night. And now you have my number!". So he immediately texts her back - "I had a great time too. Come on by the bar anytime." So now she is just pissed. She tells us she is not 'that' girl .. who is just going to go by and hang out and be a part of his 'fan' club. And this is Kim's plea to all us woman out there - Stop hanging out with men!!! Because more and more girls are 'hanging out' with men - men nowadays feel like they have to put zero or minimal effort. They have completely forgotten the whole act of 'pursuing' and have become emotionally retarded. Maybe if all us woman stop these 'hang out sessions', men will be re-trained to how they were in the 1920s - opening the doors and what not!!
My thoughts to add on. No matter how much sexual equality we women profess, the basic truth is we like to be pursued, we like to be sought after. This is just a part of our XX chromosome. That doesn't mean we will keep you running all your life ... but some amount of 'pursuing' is always needed to keep the spice levels up. So, even if you are in a 1 year relationship or are married for 5, plan out dates, romantic dinners, walk in the parks. Don't assume your partners weekend is yours, plan it out and make an effort to ask her and make her feel special. This may all sound very high maintenance for a lot of men ... but the truth is woman too do a lot from their end - the waxing, shaving, threading, high heels - none of this is highly pleasurable to any of us and trust me ... you would miss it when it's gone!!
Anyway, so the other day, she said something interesting that I had to blog about. Here is her story. A friend of hers, Roxanne, asked Kim to accompany her to a bar as she wanted to introduce 'single' Kim to the cutest Bar Owner that she knew. So they walk in to the bar. As Mr. Owner is getting ready to leave, Roxanne introduces Kim to him. Mr. Owner and Kim end up conversing for the next 2 hrs. Kim takes this as a good sign as he really was about to leave the bar 2 hrs back! So anyway, at the end of it, they are all ready to go home, and Mr. Owner, tells Kim - "Roxanne has my number". Kim is shocked. Why did he say that? Why didn't he just give me his number himself. Or better - why didn't he take my number? Does he expect me to do the work? Me to ask him out?? She gives him the benefit of doubt here, figuring out excuses like, maybe he didn't want to give out his personal number in front of his staff .. blah blah. So she gets his number from Roxanne and the next day texts him saying - "I had a great time talking to you last night. And now you have my number!". So he immediately texts her back - "I had a great time too. Come on by the bar anytime." So now she is just pissed. She tells us she is not 'that' girl .. who is just going to go by and hang out and be a part of his 'fan' club. And this is Kim's plea to all us woman out there - Stop hanging out with men!!! Because more and more girls are 'hanging out' with men - men nowadays feel like they have to put zero or minimal effort. They have completely forgotten the whole act of 'pursuing' and have become emotionally retarded. Maybe if all us woman stop these 'hang out sessions', men will be re-trained to how they were in the 1920s - opening the doors and what not!!
My thoughts to add on. No matter how much sexual equality we women profess, the basic truth is we like to be pursued, we like to be sought after. This is just a part of our XX chromosome. That doesn't mean we will keep you running all your life ... but some amount of 'pursuing' is always needed to keep the spice levels up. So, even if you are in a 1 year relationship or are married for 5, plan out dates, romantic dinners, walk in the parks. Don't assume your partners weekend is yours, plan it out and make an effort to ask her and make her feel special. This may all sound very high maintenance for a lot of men ... but the truth is woman too do a lot from their end - the waxing, shaving, threading, high heels - none of this is highly pleasurable to any of us and trust me ... you would miss it when it's gone!!
posted by Mommy G @ 8:00 AM
6 Comments:
At 9/26/2008 8:39 AM,
Anonymous said…
deep down men also like pursuing women and most of us appreciate all the efforts that women put in dressing up & looking gr8:) and hey we also have to shave everyday...things we do for women :P
At 9/26/2008 3:18 PM,
Charanya said…
Man! I love that woman! haha...You should listen to her Y chromosome show where she gets the boys to talk about their points of view....pretty interesting!
At 9/27/2008 6:22 AM,
Anonymous said…
Pursuit is a 2 way sport honey, not a one way, at least in the united states i.e, with all its sexual harassment, polite society, laws that have come about to protect the weaker from the stronger.
From the conversation you posted of Kim n the guy, it was obvious to me at least that he wasn't really into her, but wouldn't mind a friend. Of course she wasn't able to accept it and showed her bitchy side cursing "all" men. She really should find herself "girl friends". Nothing like imagining girl on girl fun ummmmm.
At 9/28/2008 9:16 AM,
Anonymous said…
Sometimes i wonder if us guys will ever get a break from the opposite sex .... damned if we do and damned if we don't, that seems to be the motto for us .... you open the door for a lady and you might just be branded as a MCP and if you don't you stand an equally fair chance of being branded as an insensitive ass ... isn't it about time that you ladies actually made up your mind on where you stand on this issue ... you do know that you can't have your cake and eat it too (well at least not if you don't wanna get too *fat*) ....
i could probably imagine that the early cavemen faced the same issue ... hit the ladies over the head with a club and drag them back to your cave and you will be finger-painted as a brute .... and if you don't, you will be accused of not *pursuing* them and be once again painted as a brute ... as it seems that we guys always get the short end of the stick, i think it's great for once that you have to do the chasing rather than us .... now let me sit back and relax with my cigar while i wait for one of your ladies to approach me with the club (figuratively of course unless i have managed to irk some of you with the plain truth.... *grin*)
At 10/06/2008 10:52 AM,
zaph said…
like the man said, you just can't win this one. the adequacy of pursuit has nothing to do with the guy and everything to do with the girl. if she likes the guy then regardless of how much he pursues its never enough, and if she dislikes him then even the most benign interaction turns him into a stalker. perhaps i'm a cynic.
At 11/04/2008 3:10 PM,
Anonymous said…
Is that why some women are still single-- cos they haven't been "pursued" enough? What would you say about women for whom no amount of pursuit is enough....don't women also pursue men in their own subtle ways -- giving the object of their affection more attention, frequent calls, hints etc etc..?
And I actually found your comment about what women do for men "waxing, shaving blah blah...) a little shallow...is that all they do? Is the only reason women wax, shave is for men? So would you not wax,shave etc if you were not in relationship or not interested in a guy? Women also do a lot for men -- they can literally make their man the center of their universe....plan their schedules around them adjust & re-adjust for them, make their work priority in spite of deadlines, happily put their man's preferences over their own and what-not...
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