Decisions
I don't usually spend a lot of time watching TV but last weekend was different ... I sat quite a bit in front of the idiot box! So it's time for me to pour out my thoughts on another movie. This one's called Something New.
Something New is a chick-flick and I am sure not many have seen it. Anyway, the movie wasn't anything great or a must-see or anything but it did make me think. To give some background .. it's about a successful African-American woman, from an affluent atypical household who is faced with the dilemma of being single. She knows what she wants ... and 'him' being Black is her #1 filter. Her coworker sets her up on a blind date. She hesitantly agrees only to find herself stuck in Starbucks with a white dude. With time and a few more meetings, the white dude goes from being an unimaginable date to her landscape architect to her boyfriend! He was everything she didn't want. He wasn't an educated professional like her ... in her books ... he was a gardener. He was white and didn't understand the concept of black tax. And the list goes on. And yet she was happy ... she could be herself ... she could be free! A few fights into the relationship they decide to part ways. At around the same time, she gets introduced to her ideal Black man! He was tall, handsome, up for partner at his firm (just like her), similar backgrounds, loved by her family, polite, well-mannered ... you name it! She dates him for a bit and realises that she just doesn't feel that excitement which she felt with Mr. White. And in the end ... she goes for love ... and runs back to the fairer dude.
Now I think she did the wrong thing. I think she is in for a lot of trouble in the future. Sure, every marriage/relationship has its set of issues ... but by marrying someone so off from what you initially wanted ... you are only adding to the standard set of issues. Don't you think? Just like with time she grew to like the white dude ... she would have grown to like the black one too. In fact ... the latter I am sure would have been much more easier. But then there comes the question of the 'sparks'. She obviously felt the sparks and the fireworks with Mr. W and nada with Mr. B! So I am clueless and puzzled on what would have been the right choice. Any thoughts? Maybe there is no right choice. Maybe the 'right' comes when we are aware of and can own up to the consequences of the choices we make. Hmmmmmm!
Something New is a chick-flick and I am sure not many have seen it. Anyway, the movie wasn't anything great or a must-see or anything but it did make me think. To give some background .. it's about a successful African-American woman, from an affluent atypical household who is faced with the dilemma of being single. She knows what she wants ... and 'him' being Black is her #1 filter. Her coworker sets her up on a blind date. She hesitantly agrees only to find herself stuck in Starbucks with a white dude. With time and a few more meetings, the white dude goes from being an unimaginable date to her landscape architect to her boyfriend! He was everything she didn't want. He wasn't an educated professional like her ... in her books ... he was a gardener. He was white and didn't understand the concept of black tax. And the list goes on. And yet she was happy ... she could be herself ... she could be free! A few fights into the relationship they decide to part ways. At around the same time, she gets introduced to her ideal Black man! He was tall, handsome, up for partner at his firm (just like her), similar backgrounds, loved by her family, polite, well-mannered ... you name it! She dates him for a bit and realises that she just doesn't feel that excitement which she felt with Mr. White. And in the end ... she goes for love ... and runs back to the fairer dude.
Now I think she did the wrong thing. I think she is in for a lot of trouble in the future. Sure, every marriage/relationship has its set of issues ... but by marrying someone so off from what you initially wanted ... you are only adding to the standard set of issues. Don't you think? Just like with time she grew to like the white dude ... she would have grown to like the black one too. In fact ... the latter I am sure would have been much more easier. But then there comes the question of the 'sparks'. She obviously felt the sparks and the fireworks with Mr. W and nada with Mr. B! So I am clueless and puzzled on what would have been the right choice. Any thoughts? Maybe there is no right choice. Maybe the 'right' comes when we are aware of and can own up to the consequences of the choices we make. Hmmmmmm!
posted by Mommy G @ 10:51 AM
5 Comments:
At 2/27/2007 5:39 PM,
Unknown said…
Sparks and romance aside. The right person depends on the individual. I would hate someone exactly like me. The predictability will bore me.
I like the challenge of differences - provided the person knows how to fight. Respectful fights are fun. What more her new interest would hopefully stretch me beyond what I am.
Some love predictability, I cook - boyfriend must be Sanjeev Kapur from Khana Kazana.I dance, boyfriend must know how to spin on the floor balancing the delicate center of gravity. The white man would be a wrong choice for such women.
At 3/03/2007 5:20 PM,
rhobetarho said…
I think the premise that we know what mr or ms right is and can order them off a catalog is a bit crazy. How many times have we gone and got something that was the coolest thing ever and realized we are just not comfortable with it? Like a pair of jeans, shoes or even a car. While shopping around, we ignore the comfort factor and just force ourselves to buy it. Maybe to pander to our image. But if we're not comfortable, we're gonna end up returning it or worse yet (if there's a no-return- policy), then force ourselves to go on living with it, reminding ourselves how stupid we were, EVERY SINGLE DAY.
So go forth and figure out what is you want. Not what you should want. Or your parents want you to want. What YOU want. As for growing to love something, I think that's the nice amchi girl in you talking...doesn't really happen.
At 3/10/2007 4:08 PM,
Anonymous said…
You said that in the end she goes for love but then you call it a mistake.
So are you saying opting for love was the mistake or that love could have been re-created anytime anywhere?
At 3/12/2007 7:43 AM,
Mommy G said…
Silz .. I started off saying that she made the wrong choice but then I continued on to saying that I am puzzled and clueless.
The fact is that I am one who goes for love ... follows my heart ... runs behind the sparks ... but when I see her story from a third persons perspective ... something tells me she did the wrong thing. When you are in it, you are so blinded and attracted to the 'unavailable' that I feel sometimes you just end up running after something which just isn't right. The fact is that if this white dude never came into her life, there would have been no second thoughts on Mr. Black! Don't you think?
At 3/29/2007 11:04 AM,
Unknown said…
In my heart of hearts,I don't belive in love. I belive in attraction, the sparks, the confort level - u know all the things that make you wanna be friends with someone, not necessarily marry them, and I think it would've been fair if marriges did not come with the condition 'forever'.
However on a saner note, since marriages DO come with the condition 'forever' for many a traditional heart, going for the 'set standards' for a more steay ride in life would be wiser.
SO if you are the one who would be up for challnges in her 50s, go for Mr W, but if you want to take a break from work and retire in the Alps in 40s, going for Mr W makes more sense...just a thought:)!
Post a Comment
<< Home