Have we brought this on ourselves?
With the divorce rates increasing in our society, it makes me wonder ... have we brought this on ourselves? However sexist I might sound, the fact remains that men and women are created differently and nature had different 'job definitions' for each sex. In general, men are stronger physically and women, emotionally.
We women were meant to bear babies, take care of the house, stabilise the family etc. Men were supposed to be the earners, who support the family by working hard and bringing home all that's needed. But somewhere in the last 30 years, we women took a detour. We decided to study more. We wanted to be achievers just like our partners. We too started working long hours and dealing with all the external stress. I think we did pretty good at matching men in all that they did. But we also managed to leave behind a big hole. All those 'jobs' we were meant to do ... was left with no employee. Some of us expected our men to take 50% of it up as a part-time job ... but it was 'our' decision to explore the male profession. So is that an appropriate expectation? Yes, it's also true that most men have gotten used to the idea of a double income. Many want to marry the independent woman who can take care of themselves. The independence, power, etc is very attractive ... but is the marriage sustainable?
My own parents for example, both were earners, but other than the fact that my mom worked her 8 hr shifts and brought the money home, she did EVERYTHING a housewife would do. My dad didn't have one extra duty around the house. She still depended on my dad to bring home the gunny bag of rice or handle the credit card bills or invest in shares. She never opened a bank acct. on her own. She didn't involve herself in any of that. Come to think of it ... she worked double shifts all her life. Poor lady.
But women today ... we aren't like her. We want equality. We want to see those bank statements ... heck! we want seperate accounts. If we are working late, we want our husbands to do the cooking and the dishes. We artificially inflate our egos to match our partners innate ones. Is this fair? Why are we fighting nature?
Sadly, we have chosen a path which is nearly impossible to retrace. Good luck to us all!
We women were meant to bear babies, take care of the house, stabilise the family etc. Men were supposed to be the earners, who support the family by working hard and bringing home all that's needed. But somewhere in the last 30 years, we women took a detour. We decided to study more. We wanted to be achievers just like our partners. We too started working long hours and dealing with all the external stress. I think we did pretty good at matching men in all that they did. But we also managed to leave behind a big hole. All those 'jobs' we were meant to do ... was left with no employee. Some of us expected our men to take 50% of it up as a part-time job ... but it was 'our' decision to explore the male profession. So is that an appropriate expectation? Yes, it's also true that most men have gotten used to the idea of a double income. Many want to marry the independent woman who can take care of themselves. The independence, power, etc is very attractive ... but is the marriage sustainable?
My own parents for example, both were earners, but other than the fact that my mom worked her 8 hr shifts and brought the money home, she did EVERYTHING a housewife would do. My dad didn't have one extra duty around the house. She still depended on my dad to bring home the gunny bag of rice or handle the credit card bills or invest in shares. She never opened a bank acct. on her own. She didn't involve herself in any of that. Come to think of it ... she worked double shifts all her life. Poor lady.
But women today ... we aren't like her. We want equality. We want to see those bank statements ... heck! we want seperate accounts. If we are working late, we want our husbands to do the cooking and the dishes. We artificially inflate our egos to match our partners innate ones. Is this fair? Why are we fighting nature?
Sadly, we have chosen a path which is nearly impossible to retrace. Good luck to us all!
posted by Mommy G @ 8:31 AM
7 Comments:
At 2/12/2007 8:53 AM,
Anonymous said…
We women supposedly 'inflate' our egos so much only because we more than deserve it!!!
At 2/12/2007 8:58 AM,
samurai said…
:) That was a darn sexist post, Areille. Be prepared to take lot of flak.
I dont think there is any such task as 'supposed to duty'. It might be that way, during tribal times. I am also sure that many of us are still attuned to think that way, but transforming is what we term as evolving.
Having said that, it is much easier to manifest yourself in the physical/material society (which is much safer than say 2000 years back) for women, but it will take ages for men to start wiring themselves emotionally. I think thats the reason for so many divorces.
Needless to say, women are hard to please. No pun intended whatsoever :))
At 2/12/2007 10:13 AM,
Ketaki said…
Men and women are both adults when they enter the institution of marriage.
Adults who won't let the opposite sex take on certain responsibilities.
For instance, if my mom let my dad in the kitchen one day of his life, may be he'd learn to cook better chicken than her! And if she was patient in letting dad mess up and pick up after himself, he would've eventually learned the trade.
As far as financial matters go, women usually play damsel in distress and let the men handle paperwork. Women are sooooooooooo smart I tell you ;).
At 2/12/2007 11:23 AM,
Anonymous said…
First off - Hope the non blogging hibernation went off well and now that you are back, welcome back to the grind house.
Now this post - it's true that men were meant to do certain things and women certain things. Before democracy bore its sweet feminist fruits the distinction was clearly marked. But women seem to have done a one up on men these days. They can either match or better men in pretty much every 'macho' task out there, but we men still can't seem to bear babies. I think we would be justified if we screamed injustice! Someday, science is going to blur the distinction so much that people will have to carry a DNA stamp painted on their forehead to denote their 'original' gender. Until then let the feminists be put on notice that their day of reckoning is coming. All hail to the Rapture (and their torch bearing Evangelists).
That will mark the end of divorces. Women and men will work hard in their own respective fields of expertise. And if at all a few of the 'specimens' harbor feelings of crossing over they shall be quarantined in an island of misfits.. where today's leaders will have their resting quarters after clearing the gutters during the day. Don't you see? Everyone wins in the end. Ah! Fairy tales...
At 2/12/2007 12:03 PM,
Mommy G said…
yes, I do think our inflated egos are well deserved and it is a great thing that women are proving themselves by excelling in every field a man touches. But the point I was trying to make is that both sexes are now competing and working to excel on one area of the "functional unit" leaving the other half stranded.
At 2/13/2007 4:41 PM,
'Tis a beautiful life! said…
I don’t think that post was sexist at all…but rather the natural thing to say.
It HAS always been the normal order of things hasn’t it…the man goes and gathers the food and the woman takes care of the cave and the offspring…same case for animals…
And by working women are changing the norm…but it’ll just take time for men to accept it entirely…
And perhaps God did make women good multitaskers for a reason? ;)
I don’t necessarily agree that women’s egos have become inflated though…in 90% of situations women do let go of their ego instead of a man…
And I’ve always believed that in a relationship while it would be amazing to have a 50-50 split of power…I’d rather it be 55-45 biased towards my partner than towards me! (and yes I AM a girl!)...and I know a lot of ppl wont agree with that comment but I think we were just made more tolerant…and what’s the point of silly egos when they get in the way of happiness in a relationship?
At 4/09/2007 8:12 PM,
Sheeba said…
Or maybe Women have evolved and Men are still pre-historic? I often think that given time, Men will be obsolete...
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