The Final Goal!

I was in NYC last weekend and happened to have an amazing convo with my host - Mr.Z, which I had to blog about.

So we were discussing marriage and relationships (ofcourse!!), and talked about how complicated we ourselves have made it all. In the past - you just get married and you are committed for life. Today we have at least 4 stages I can think of -

1. I am considering dating the dude
2. Dating
3. Commitment/Engagement
4. Marriage

I am sure there are may sub levels to these stages.

Anyhoo, as we spoke more on this he brought up this excellent analogy which I thought was brilliant. He spoke about how there are 4 levels of employees in his firm - Associate, Manager, Junior Partner and Partner. Each level needs a completely different skill set. So when they recruit for associates, one would think they would look for those who have the skill set an Associate needs. Right? Wrong!! They recruit keeping the final goal in mind. The hire those who they think will one day make Good Partners in the firm because that is the final goal. How they get through the first 3 stages isn't the firm's problem - for the firm, this is the most profitable approach.

Same way - when we look for a partner - we sometimes get carried away by one of the initial stages like "oh why didn't he buy me flowers" "why didn't we go eat in that fancy restaurant" "why isn't he romantic enough" "why didn't he call me when he said he would" "why isn't my ring a gaziilion carats". But the smarter and more profitable approach is one that Mr.Z's very successful firm follows, if you keep the goal in mind - 'to find a good husband' ... does any of that really matter? We should probably be looking for other things like "is he a stable person" "Is he sincere" "Is he capable of making sound decisions" "Will he be able to support and bring up a cultured family" etc.

I loved it .. and had to post about it. Hope you find it as thought provoking as i did! :)

Reactions and Responses

I was sent a link yesterday and I wandered off to the other articles on that site and came across one which was definitely one to remember. It was titled - "Reacting bad, Responding good".

It spoke about how situations happen, people say all sorts of things, and we react and that's okay! How we react is directly connected to our emotions - it really can't be controlled. But the part which can be controlled is our response! I quote: "responses have the advantage of consulting with your brain before taking action"! And yet, most of us respond exactly the way we react ... which turns out to be the cause of most of our fights!

Time to understand the difference and make a change!