Decisions

I don't usually spend a lot of time watching TV but last weekend was different ... I sat quite a bit in front of the idiot box! So it's time for me to pour out my thoughts on another movie. This one's called Something New.

Something New is a chick-flick and I am sure not many have seen it. Anyway, the movie wasn't anything great or a must-see or anything but it did make me think. To give some background .. it's about a successful African-American woman, from an affluent atypical household who is faced with the dilemma of being single. She knows what she wants ... and 'him' being Black is her #1 filter. Her coworker sets her up on a blind date. She hesitantly agrees only to find herself stuck in Starbucks with a white dude. With time and a few more meetings, the white dude goes from being an unimaginable date to her landscape architect to her boyfriend! He was everything she didn't want. He wasn't an educated professional like her ... in her books ... he was a gardener. He was white and didn't understand the concept of black tax. And the list goes on. And yet she was happy ... she could be herself ... she could be free! A few fights into the relationship they decide to part ways. At around the same time, she gets introduced to her ideal Black man! He was tall, handsome, up for partner at his firm (just like her), similar backgrounds, loved by her family, polite, well-mannered ... you name it! She dates him for a bit and realises that she just doesn't feel that excitement which she felt with Mr. White. And in the end ... she goes for love ... and runs back to the fairer dude.

Now I think she did the wrong thing. I think she is in for a lot of trouble in the future. Sure, every marriage/relationship has its set of issues ... but by marrying someone so off from what you initially wanted ... you are only adding to the standard set of issues. Don't you think? Just like with time she grew to like the white dude ... she would have grown to like the black one too. In fact ... the latter I am sure would have been much more easier. But then there comes the question of the 'sparks'. She obviously felt the sparks and the fireworks with Mr. W and nada with Mr. B! So I am clueless and puzzled on what would have been the right choice. Any thoughts? Maybe there is no right choice. Maybe the 'right' comes when we are aware of and can own up to the consequences of the choices we make. Hmmmmmm!

The Last Kiss!

I recently saw the movie - the Last Kiss. If you haven't seen it, I recommend watching it. There is nothing revolutionary in the movie ... no great ending .. nothing loud. It's a movie about a couple ... a couple who have everything going for them .. who have the perfect life ... and yet, they manage to screw it up. It's amazing how when we think we have it all planned and figured out and in our control ... life/God/the supreme power has a way of showing us otherwise.

Other than this couple who are the main focus of the movie, there are lots of other couples who I found even more interesting. There is an old couple who have lived with each other through 30 years of marriage and still don't seem to understand each other or have never fulfilled each other. There is the young couple who are dysfunctional to begin with and decide to have a baby to save their marriage ... only to realise that it can't. There is the other dude who wants his ex so bad ... he thinks he is in love ... but I think it's just cause he can't have her ... or can't see someone else having her.

I think my fav. part of the movie is the conversation between the hero and the heroine's Dad. When the hero asks the heroine's father - how do I save my marriage ... how do I make sure I don't lose her? The father says - "You can never lose if you don't give up!" Simple and powerful! He also says - "When you love a person, it's not how many times you say you love them or how much you feel you love them, it's what you 'do' that shows how much you love them."

If you are reading this and haven't seen the movie and now want to curse me for telling you all that the movie has got ... trust me ... I haven't ruined any major suspense. Watch it and let me know what you think. Would love to hear your analysis!

A tribute to us!

We did it!!! And the rest of you might wonder ... what great deed did these 4 wonder women do??

Well, we trained hard for 23 weeks, we ran 13.1 miles - the AT&T Half-Marathon and finished strong and above all, raised more than $8000 for 'ASHA for Education'.

Congratualtions to each of us ... we really did it! :)

Have we brought this on ourselves?

With the divorce rates increasing in our society, it makes me wonder ... have we brought this on ourselves? However sexist I might sound, the fact remains that men and women are created differently and nature had different 'job definitions' for each sex. In general, men are stronger physically and women, emotionally.

We women were meant to bear babies, take care of the house, stabilise the family etc. Men were supposed to be the earners, who support the family by working hard and bringing home all that's needed. But somewhere in the last 30 years, we women took a detour. We decided to study more. We wanted to be achievers just like our partners. We too started working long hours and dealing with all the external stress. I think we did pretty good at matching men in all that they did. But we also managed to leave behind a big hole. All those 'jobs' we were meant to do ... was left with no employee. Some of us expected our men to take 50% of it up as a part-time job ... but it was 'our' decision to explore the male profession. So is that an appropriate expectation? Yes, it's also true that most men have gotten used to the idea of a double income. Many want to marry the independent woman who can take care of themselves. The independence, power, etc is very attractive ... but is the marriage sustainable?

My own parents for example, both were earners, but other than the fact that my mom worked her 8 hr shifts and brought the money home, she did EVERYTHING a housewife would do. My dad didn't have one extra duty around the house. She still depended on my dad to bring home the gunny bag of rice or handle the credit card bills or invest in shares. She never opened a bank acct. on her own. She didn't involve herself in any of that. Come to think of it ... she worked double shifts all her life. Poor lady.

But women today ... we aren't like her. We want equality. We want to see those bank statements ... heck! we want seperate accounts. If we are working late, we want our husbands to do the cooking and the dishes. We artificially inflate our egos to match our partners innate ones. Is this fair? Why are we fighting nature?

Sadly, we have chosen a path which is nearly impossible to retrace. Good luck to us all!

What goes around goes around goes around.....

I think I can safely say that 99.9% of us have at some point in time liked a member of the opposite sex who refuses to reciprocate. If you are in the 0.1% which I frankly believe doesn't exist ... you suck! :) Anyways, such responses have always left us doubting ourselves... wondering what we lack. It's a miserable phase to be in and my heart goes out to all those going through it. Yes, bitch all you want about that dog cause you really don't deserve their rejection, huh? You are just as good as anyone he/she will ever find. How dare they say no!!

But, just for a minute now, lets go on the greener side ... lets think of all those wonderful people who have expressed their interest in you!! Now that's always an ego boost huh? And you said no because:

- they didn't look good enough
- they had B.O.
- their accents/voice turned you off
- they just weren't the jerky Type A's you fall for
- you just didn't feel it (which is usually a cover up for one of the above)!!
- and many others.

The point I am trying to make is one made many times before ... when you point that one finger ... look at the other three pointing at you. Ya sure you don't think you deserve this ... but neither do they. Stop fooling around ... stop playing with others lives just like some others have played with yours. And stop complaining coz as JT would say .. what goes around comes around ... !

Disclaimer: The above post wasn't written during PMS or isn't an expression of my resentment of all those &*^%$$. I am actually in a great mood and couldn't think of any better topics to post on!