The Dying Pursuit!

A good friend got me hooked on to listening to "Your time with Kim" which happens at 94.7 on weeknights. It's a girly talk show and I love it.

Anyway, so the other day, she said something interesting that I had to blog about. Here is her story. A friend of hers, Roxanne, asked Kim to accompany her to a bar as she wanted to introduce 'single' Kim to the cutest Bar Owner that she knew. So they walk in to the bar. As Mr. Owner is getting ready to leave, Roxanne introduces Kim to him. Mr. Owner and Kim end up conversing for the next 2 hrs. Kim takes this as a good sign as he really was about to leave the bar 2 hrs back! So anyway, at the end of it, they are all ready to go home, and Mr. Owner, tells Kim - "Roxanne has my number". Kim is shocked. Why did he say that? Why didn't he just give me his number himself. Or better - why didn't he take my number? Does he expect me to do the work? Me to ask him out?? She gives him the benefit of doubt here, figuring out excuses like, maybe he didn't want to give out his personal number in front of his staff .. blah blah. So she gets his number from Roxanne and the next day texts him saying - "I had a great time talking to you last night. And now you have my number!". So he immediately texts her back - "I had a great time too. Come on by the bar anytime." So now she is just pissed. She tells us she is not 'that' girl .. who is just going to go by and hang out and be a part of his 'fan' club. And this is Kim's plea to all us woman out there - Stop hanging out with men!!! Because more and more girls are 'hanging out' with men - men nowadays feel like they have to put zero or minimal effort. They have completely forgotten the whole act of 'pursuing' and have become emotionally retarded. Maybe if all us woman stop these 'hang out sessions', men will be re-trained to how they were in the 1920s - opening the doors and what not!!

My thoughts to add on. No matter how much sexual equality we women profess, the basic truth is we like to be pursued, we like to be sought after. This is just a part of our XX chromosome. That doesn't mean we will keep you running all your life ... but some amount of 'pursuing' is always needed to keep the spice levels up. So, even if you are in a 1 year relationship or are married for 5, plan out dates, romantic dinners, walk in the parks. Don't assume your partners weekend is yours, plan it out and make an effort to ask her and make her feel special. This may all sound very high maintenance for a lot of men ... but the truth is woman too do a lot from their end - the waxing, shaving, threading, high heels - none of this is highly pleasurable to any of us and trust me ... you would miss it when it's gone!!

Try try again? Not always!

Being in love can be very painful especially when not reciprocated. We spend days/weeks/months and sometimes even years 'trying' to let go ... but all in vain. It's weird, but experience has taught me that the minute we stop trying to let go ... our heart lets go. Of course, it's the toughest to come to terms with that ... cause letting go means giving up all hope and we love to hold on to that last weak string of hope. That's just human nature.

Similarly, the quest for a new love, new life partner ... 50% of the people I know .. are on this hunt. Trying so hard to find 'the one', and yet so many failed attempts. Again, here too, it seems when we stop trying ... it comes our way. Love happens and you wonder what hit you! It's tough to believe this is true ... but time and again ... this has proven itself to me.

A good friend once told me - find happiness within yourself, be content on your own. You should never be dependent on someone else to bring this to you. Relying on someone else will only bring you pain - that person might disappear one day or might tear themselves away cause of your 'neediness'. And then what? Why let someone else shatter your peace of mind? If you find it all within, you will never be disappointed. Be content, be happy, love yourself - and you are bound to attract the right people.

Also, if you have to try 'so' hard to achieve them - ever thought maybe they are just not right for you?

I dedicate this post to all the beautiful people in my life on this eternal quest!